Umbrella errors
To be read in one of those John
Majoresque Health and Safety clipboard jobsworth voices:
Dear Mr Self,
I am reading your novel “Umbrella”.
I seem to have a version that has slipped out without checking. I
have noticed a number of, as our cousins across the Atlantic call
them, 'bloopers'. Someone has forgotten to insert all the chapters,
speechmarks, and has typeset sections in italics.
On page 176 it says “all three men
divide the hole at three strokes apiece, 1 over par”. That would
make the hole a par two, which does not exist!
On page 180 (still on the golf course!)
“Mayhew, pushing away the brolly his cabby has taken from his bag
and opened.” That should be 'caddy', unless he's got a taxi carting
his clubs around for him!
Otherwise, I hope this finds
you well, and good luck with the Booker Prize, even though I don't
think you stand an earthly up against that Miss Mantel and her
chapters, conventional punctuation, and choice of subject matter.
Yours sincerely,
Rob Ghertege (anag)
The student loans useless gits
The (yawn) student loan (predictably
useless government organisation) useless gits have performed
according to expectations. On a par with HMRC, the DWP, and no doubt
with any others that will come along in the future.
Student loan gits: letter dated two
weeks ago: send us loads of info we should have anyway, or the loan
may me reduced. Or delayed. Or somesuch non-threat from a body that
would have difficulty opening a can of beans for its supper.
BLISS: after a couple of days, sent the
info.
Me, somewhat sceptical about their
likely performance, something along the lines of: bit of an empty
threat, they'll not get things right in any case.
Today, no loan, threat of eviction, no
rent paid, more work now for BLISS and MM because the student loan gits are
undeniably, either by accident or deliberately, utterly and
completely useless.
Still raining
Me: It's absolutely (or something like
that) sheeting (or something like that) down out there.
BLISS: Really? I wondered what all that
rain-like noise was.
Later that same day, out in the rain,
the dog was looking at me as if to say: “are you mad, lets go back
to the car and get out of this.” #surroundedByFemales
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