Morning Reg, meat and two veg? He
done him with a ten-pound sledge
What's the difference between Ian Dury
and an egg?
You can beat an egg.
Hello Brian. Wash and iron? Try it on.
It's only nylon. Could've been watching Frankie Vaughn on the telly
and giving herself a scratch. This is what we find, a sense of humour
is required, among the bacon rind.
Do It Yourself. Cheering me up no end
right now.
Hit me with your rhythm stick, it's
nice to be a lunatic
Jeremy (rhyming slang - “he was right
dirty old Jeremy”, referring to Jimmy Saville) is now running
(ruining?) the NHS.
Can I suggest Gary Glitter (minister
for children); The Dukes of Hazard (environment); Ned Kelly (law and
order); Lord Sugar (anything).
Yes. They're all barking. In fact
they're all Dagenham. Next there'll be a climate change denier on the
climate change committee...oh. There you go then.
Luv a duck, we're as common as muck
It was the opening of a place I worked
(hard) on yesterday. Wasn't invited. Didn't want the hoi polloi
spoiling it for the great and good, did vey, eh? Got a sneak preview
from the caterers though.
Also, it takes much longer to get up
north...the slow way
The roads were clear all day today,
apart from that bit of the M25 between J5 and J6. That was a slow
(lucky to do 30 mph) crawl. Why? It's an orbital. Why does it slow
down at that specific section? Why is the inside lane always the
fastest-moving (there goes the secret)?
Pullin' strokes and takin' liberties
I had the misfortune to hear 'lord'
Sugar on 'today in Parliament'. If Shakespeare loves the English
language, and uses it to conjure magic, Sugar rapes it, inflicts some
GBH, gives it a thorough kicking for good measure, and does it all in
that health and safety clipboard back-of-the-throat voice.
Could someone, like, run him over,
perhaps? A couple of times to make sure?
Shall I compare three to a dreary day
in Dudley?
No. For thou art drearier than the most
dreary thing imaginable
To the human mind
Which is what I'm equipped with.
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