He couldn't hit...
...a cow's arse with a banjo.
That's football. Football for: he's
having difficulty scoring. Or, for the statisticians, he's
opportunity to conversion rate challenged. Actually, that's for the
stattos and the politically correct.
The point is, that according to the
average Daily Mail reader, all footballers are retarded and all
football fans are retarded and violent. But there's a magnificent and
beautiful off-the-wall madness to phrases like “couldn't bit a
cow's arse with a banjo”, and football is littered with them.
Cricket is the same.
Rugby, maybe less so (with the
off-the-wall stuff – proper hard men) but then again, when an after
game soirée involves tipping beer over your own head and others as
fast as you can buy it, you can't deny a certain twisted genius is at
work there too.
Without dissecting it too much, he
couldn't hit a cow's arse with a banjo says it all, without the
slightest fragment of reason behind the cow's arse, or the banjo.
MPs and Newcastle and Wonga
Newcastle shirts. Black and white
stripes. 'Wonga' sponsors logo.
MPs object.
Guys, look at your funding and do the
kettle, black, pot thing. Then shut up and clear off. Please.
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