WOAT syndrome
BLISS reminded me about this today.
She's been on bit of a theatre / cinema roll lately. All her points
are valid and well made, and they extend beyond the theatre and
cinema, too. There's too many people now attending shows and events
seemingly for the sake of attending, taking selfies while they're
there and sending them to their mates, texting, talking and chomping
their way through whatever it is they're ignoring.
Waste Of A Ticket syndrome manifests
itself in a number of antisocial, irrational and, frankly, annoying
behaviours. From the British Journal of Mental Health:
WOAT sufferers display a number of
symptoms. The presence of any one suggests the possibility of the
patient having WOAT syndrome. Where three or more are displayed, it
is confirmed and treatment should be prescribed:
Late arrivals: while anyone can, for
any number of legitimate reasons, arrive late at the theatre, cinema,
or sporting event (problems on the underground, M25 grinding to a
halt, long queues while the goons at the cricket police every coolbox
and carrier bag), someone with WOAT syndrome will habitually and
unapologetically arrive late. They will then cause the maximum amount
of fuss, for example, by insisting they go to their exact seats
rather than just sitting somewhere until an interval or a break in
play. They will talk loudly to their companions. In extreme cases,
having finally settled down and allowed everyone around them to get
back to what they're paid to watch, they will immediately get up
again to go and purchase large amounts of food, or to visit the
toilet.
Lights: they are incapable of
standing still for a few seconds and allowing their eyes to adjust to
the light. They cannot understand that we live in a Safe and Healthy
world of high viz, hard hats and clipboards, and nowhere is allowed
to be completely dark in case someone falls over and chips their nail
varnish. Instead they shine their mobile phone torches all over the
place, causing more disturbance.
Attention span: they seem, to the
normal, rational people around them, unaware that events last for a
finite length of time. Football matches, for example, last ninety
minutes, which is, to most, no time at all. Suddenly, just after kick
off, it seems, there's twenty-odd minutes gone and the game is a
quarter over. They talk incessantly, look away from the action, send
and receive texts, get up and down for the bar / toilet / hamburger
stand / toilet / etc, and actually spend less than 10% of the game
time watching the game they've paid to watch.
Genetics and nurture: it is not
clear whether typical WOAT behaviour is inherited or learned. Small
children who are encouraged to behave properly seem less likely to
grow up to be adult WOAT sufferers, while highly indulged little
princes and princess, allowed to chatter away throughout a play or a
film at early ages are statistically more prone to developing the
syndrome in later life.
Feeding patterns: while new borns
can go, on average, approximately four hours between feeds, WOAT
sufferers, in extreme cases, can't manage four minutes between
consuming some noisy, smelly, or both noisy and smelly food and / or
drink.
Conclusion: unfortunately, the WOAT
dollar [$WOAT] is accepted and actively sought by a number of
enterprises. For example, the cinema goer who watches the film and
leaves, will typically spend between £5 - £10 on the experience,
while the average adult WOAT's bill will be around three times that
if they use the in-house sweetie, hot-dog and bright blue shushie
services (or half as much again if there's a Poundland within walking
distance). Therefore, the difficulty with the WOAT problem is that
commercially, they're ideal for exploitation, and there's little will
to stop or reduce the levels of increasingly poor behaviour.
Clinically and educationally there may be solutions. We would not
promote an apartheid solution (for example, non-WOAT seating, or say,
non-WOAT, doors close when the film starts, viewings).
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