DLL

DLL

The youngest of the three, she's a riddle, wrapped in a mystery, inside an enigma. In my opinion, and my opinion doesn't count for very much, particularly not around here, of the three she's the least likely to back herself, while at the same time probably being the one who should back herself the most.

Who, exactly, is she?

She's my Walking Dead buddy. Without her, I'd never go to the pictures (and nor would BLISS). She's really good company, but then they all are (they get that from me, obviously).

She's a fish-eating vegetarian, whatever the proper name for one of those is, without ever getting too anal or preachy or in your face about things. She's got a fantastic circle of friends.

That thing about getting something...she gets Twitter. Of everyone I follow, I look forward to her tweets more than anyone else's. She's uproariously, hilariously funny, if her assignments and essays had a 142 letter limit (is that right?) she'd ace every one without breaking sweat.

She can frustrate. She's a natural ball player (did I say she gets some stuff from me – I'm ready for no end of disagreement in the comments) always excelling at whatever she's decided to give a go: netball, cricket, hockey, but never enjoyed getting too serious about it. Gloriously unanal, beautifully laid back, but frustrating nonetheless.

She has a Women Behaving Badly thing going with BLISS. I'll never admit it, but it gives me a warm glow seeing them side by side on the sofa. They've replaced the Stella Artois with Cornettos, and they watch endless hospital reality shows, hospital dramas, medical docu-dramas. I'm sure they have a special channel of their own piped up the arse of the Sky box just for them.

Again, she doesn't recognise her own talents, but she's really good with people. She's caring, gentle and patient (she definitely does not get any of those from me).

Random memories pop up. We went to see a full-on, no holds barred blood and guts production of Titus Andronicus at the Globe. Grown people were fainting away at an average of five or six every performance. After the particularly blood-thirsty last scene before the interval, she said “do we have any more sandwiches?” She went missing when we were picking her up from her junior school. I was absolutely frantic. She reappeared. “I went to the toilet” she said, calmer than a very calm thing. She came up to a meeting in Birmingham with me recently, and we listened to talk radio, Radio 4 and Radio 5, all the way there and back. I remember driving out to the Witterings with a much younger version of her, both of us laughing at Bleak Expectations. She's currently going through a very late-onset “why?” phase. Recently I'm increasingly having to answer a lot of “why?” questions, generally with the answer “I don't know”. She makes me laugh with the football team shortened onscreen names. Who's pissgah? (Paris St Germain (PSG)); who's teth? (TH (S***s)); who's wah-hem? Who's cep? Who's Eve? Who's chey?

I could be wrong, I often am, but I think we have a very robust relationship. I'm sure Kiz and MM couldn't ask for a better sister.

She's also a lot braver and a lot more stoic than I could ever aspire to being. She's my Star Trek buddy, my Hobbit pal, and bit of an action film fan.

Obviously, I'm biased and entirely subjective, incapable of a rational judgement, and I love her dearly.