Lesthus Piggus

Was it ever thus?

According to an absolutely reliable source (QI) the best paid sportsperson ever was a multi-billionaire Roman charioteer...

BIGUS DICKUS: Did you thee the newthpaper? Lestus Pigguth hath won again.

TITTANIA: Yeah. Like, he's soooo cool, dude. Like wow! And when his toga gets caught in the slipstream. Whoa! Hung like a...

BIGUS DICKUS: Yeth, yeth, buth thath's not the point. He'th now wealthier than Ceathar himthelf. Thath the trouble with thports, don't you think?

TITTANIA: In what way. I mean, man, all that and he's loaded, too...

BIGUS DICKUS: Ah. Cliche, good to thee you. (CLICHE MAXIMUS enters and sits down).

CLICHE MAXIMUS: Good to see you too, you old wogue. How's twicks?

BIGUS DICKUS: We were juth dithcuthing Lestus Pigguth.

CLICHE MAXIMUS: Don't get me started. It's so wong. What about gwass woots spowt? The whole thing's just so...

BIGUS DICKUS: Top heavy, in thermth of...

CLICHE MAXIMUS: Pwise money? Absolutely.

TITTANIA: Well, I'd check out his whip and bridle any day. I hear there's a statue planned for the entrance to the arena. I hope they get everything right. I mean, buns to die for, dude. And the food, you have to love the stadium food. All those larks' tongues, badgers' noses, battered slow worm foetuses, and deep fried eagles' eggs. And the wine on ladies night? Buy one get three free...

(CLICHE and BIGUS exchange a meaningful glance. TITTANIA snatches the sports pages).

The Yips

I'd never thought about it too deeply. Golf = sport and sport = good and that's it. Apparently golf courses in the wrong places, requiring gallons upon gallons of water, pesticides, weedkillers, and so on, can be bit of an ecological disaster.

Pick your greens carefully if you want to be green.

However bad golf is, I can't help thinking that there's got to be lots of worse things, like dumping tons of oil in the sea and releasing loads of gas in the sea and under the land and chucking nuclear waste into natural holes in the ground, following up with tons of concrete, and declaring that 'perfectly safe' despite similar methods of disposal having 100% failure rates. Driving large 4x4 vehicles around Chelsea. Supermarket food miles so that seasonal has no meaning any more (local has had no meaning for years). Those gits who deride vegetarians then only eat the breast of factory chickens.

Great book, though. Finished it on Saturday morning.