Devil's Island Discs

Devil's Island discs

I've been digging in the bricks and barrowing the stones for the surround to the pond today. Mindless labour that needs something on the headphones to make the time pass. (Thanks Kiz) today I've listened to any number of episodes of the hilarious Old Harry's Game. Set in hell. Written by Andy Hamilton, who enjoys playing the devil.

In one of the episodes he (the devil) suggests that an unlistenable collaboration between James Brown and Mozart would be one of his eight picks, were he ever invited on Desert Island Discs. Apart from the obvious (that Andy Hamilton in character as the Devil should be invited onto Desert Island Discs) I began to wonder just what the Devil would choose to inflict on the nation over Radio 4.

Sympathy for the Devil, Devil went down to Georgia, all those, perhaps. But what would make your ears bleed and you long to be deaf?

Here's my eight:

Olly Murs (or anyone from those Essex hairdresser karaoke shows) – any song

Take That, Wet Wet Wet, East 17 (or any of those godawful boy bands) – any song

Robbie Williams – any song

The Spice Girls, Atomic Kitten (or any of those manufactured girl bands) – any song

Phil Collins – he must be the soundtrack to one of the deep inner rings of Hades

Don't know any names, but any of those manufactured mixed bands – any song

Cliff Richard – anything

Madonna, Cheryl Cole, Kylie (any of those retro what's the point music taken backwards for retards women) – anything

The Dirty Dozen Brass Band – Voodoo

I love The Dirty Dozen Brass Band. This is a mostly instrumental collection, with the opening cover of It's All Over Now, featuring Dr John on vocals (and he's just made a storming album, too). New New Orleans Jazz, I suppose, with an entirely traditional line up of instruments. There's guest appearances from Dizzy Gillespie and Branford Marsalis.

Arsenal: money in the bank, but we still aint got us no goals

£39m for van Persie and Song. That's thirty nine large in the bank, and deficiencies on the pitch. Not a striker on the bench. The balance sheet looks better than the team sheet. All about the bottom line. Accountant driven enterprises fail. Too risk-averse. Others come from behind, take chances, and overtake. City have done that. It's a matter of time until another club does something similar and our bank balance will be healthy as we backslide down the league table.