The lighthouse hole philosophy

Competition at the putting edge

It isn’t every day you get the chance to compete in a keenly contested, brilliantly well-organised sporting event along with some of the finest athletes in the country. Today was no exception.

I did get to play in one of three fourballs taking on the old course (crazy golf), and playing the red ball. Adjacent to the newer Pirate Crazy Golf, the old course is a mix of the traditional (windmill, paddle steamer, lighthouse) motifs and some innovations (water hazards, a trimmed Astroturf surface, a short hole with an elevated tee).

In a nod to tradition and cliché, there was the 19^th extra hole, returning the ball to the ticket-seller’s hut with the ‘ring the bell and win a free game’ challenge.

Hat recovery shot on the signature lighthouse hole, by the hole-in-one king.

Those politicians and top business-people meeting up at those G8, G20, and all the other secret summits, they should be made to hold their discussions over round after round of crazy golf.

Zen and the art of putting: this dude has sandals, a tie-dye t-shirt, and a beard. Don't tell me there's not more to this crazy golf thing than meets the eye.

Then they might remember what’s important. It isn’t $5,000 suits, shoes, or any of that fake-wealth paper-deal baloney that’s ruined a planet.

Then they might remember their mum and dad’s, and their children’s laughter, and start taking enlightened rather than entitled decisions.

The absolute, total, utter pointlessness of crazy golf is exactly its appeal. Meaning of life mate? There isn’t one. Just get on with hitting your ball up Bluebeard’s parrot’s arse, and stop the damn fool questions.