Restaurant Review Number One

Restaurant (sort of) review, number one

The barbecue stand at Hove.

Every so often, when the wind is just right in strength and direction, anyone fielding at deep midwicket when the bowling is from the sea end at The County Ground, Hove (and in the short forms of the game, this is a popular position: cow corner) is in danger of disappearing in a cloud of delicious-smelling smoke. Behind the hot grills a jolly, short, chubby chef cooks chicken, steak, and burgers. These get stuffed into opened and lightly charred oversize ciabatta rolls. The piece of chicken in mine was large enough to overstuff the oversized roll. With these, and all for just £7.50, you help yourself to a mountain of potato salad, home made coleslaw, and salad. Whoever makes the potato salad avoids the temptation to skin the spuds, and to just boil and then slather them in mayo. These are covered in mustard seeds, and have a light dressing. The salad is likewise undressed. There’s a huge pot of mayo you can help yourself to if you feel the need (along with mild mustard, barbecue sauces, salt and pepper, and as many paper napkins as you can eat). The coleslaw is chunky, knife cut rather than grated or machined. Rustic, I think it’s called.

A number of things are important:

• The patrons of the stand are not there for some exotic culinary experience. They’re there to watch the cricket.
• That said, they’re not there to be ripped off, either. That’s how a polystyrene tray with about eight chips in it from the hot dog and burger stand leaves you feeling
• A tip for anyone using the burger / hot dog stall. Don’t wonder off to the gents and leave your chips unguarded if MM is in attendance. You will return to an experiment in flavour, colour, and how much and how many different squeezy bottle sauces a polystyrene tray and eight chips can accommodate. Yes of course I ate them. Yes, of course it was one of the foulest things I’ve ever eaten.
• A lot of seven pound fifties is better than a few tenners is better than hardly any twelve quids.
• See? Just because it’s a sports ground, not everything has to come with chips (there have been good things said (by AD and Mr Naughty) about what the paella van in general admission has to offer.
• I’d say always go for the chicken.
• The potato salad and the coleslaw are really good.
• Why don’t all burgers and similar come in ciabatta rolls? They go much better with flame-grilled meat, having some taste and resistance to the bite, than those lightweight melt away to nothing rolls the big chains stick their whoppers and big macs and breadcrumbed chicken strips in.

Always easier to find value when you’ve not paid and I have the generosity of The BOS to thank for my plateful, but there’s little not to like about what you get. Even the large white plates are heavy and solid, the cutlery is stainless steel, so there’s not that disposable feel about the fare. My chicken was charred and juicy and the roll was man enough to stand up to soaking in some of those juices.

I wonder if, next season, they might provide the jolly chubby chef with a couple of fans, strategically placed to waft the smoke into cow corner when the home side are batting?