Tuesday, 18 December 2012

The unspeakable and the uneatable


House of...who?

The House of Commons. Isn't that supposed to imply anyone can get in there? Isn't it more like The House of the Privileged Few?

The top monkey in the House of the Runaway Gravy Train rides out with his local hunt. There's an everyman pursuit. Cricket whites? Rugby boots? Not on your nelly. I'm a man of the people. Just an ordinary Joe. Hasn't everyone got access to a few thousand quid's worth of horse and a stupid red coat and top hat.

The unspeakable chasing the uneatable, Oscar Wilde called them. I've promised no swearing, so I can't say what I call them.

The PM's hunt is the first prosecuted by the RSPCA. The PM's hunt has broken the law. Law is what the House of Expenses Fiddlers is supposed to specialise in. The Heythrop Hunt was described as 'believing that they were above the law – they were wrong'.

So, head honcho at the House of the Self-Righteous Who Tell Us Plebs How to Live Our Lives, belongs to a hunt that believes it's above the law. Symptomatic of the prevalent attitudes in government. Maybe this sort of thing explains the low turn outs at polling (from the Latin polluxus, to totally waste one's time) stations.


Oy! HMRC! Where's my interest?

Got a tax return? Did you get interest? Bet you didn't. Do you know why? You're not already mega-wealthy and one of the ruling elite. One rule for the rich? You bet'cha.

The Barclay brothers own the Telegraph and the Ritz. How much tax do you think the Ritz has paid in the last seventeen years?

None. Nada. Zip. Ziltch.

These guys got a £204m tax rebate, and £268m in interest.

That's not enough, apparently. They're after £1bn in interest.

No wonder the petty, small-minded ejits at HMRC are busy chasing normal folk. They need to subsidise the lifestyles and huge demands of guys like the Barclay brothers.


Gazidis email hacked



16 Dec 2012 10:02

Subject: Bradford

Dear ARSEne (heh),

Just saw the results from Saturday. Well, Mrs Ivan pointed this one out to me. Her finger's more on the football pulse than mine. As you know, I'm more Formula 1 myself. The (un)mighty Bradford (that lot that dumped us out of that cup you thought we might win?) drew. Two-all (see? I'm learning the “lingo”), with the equally mighty(NOT) Southend. The great unwashed (the fans) will read the sports pages (and nothing else) and will be giving us more of the “not good enough” on twitter etc. Sort it out before they start questioning our (immense, heh!) wages.

Kind regards,

Ivan

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