Wednesday, 12 December 2012

BLISS TV Review


Yes, and yes

Glimpsed Come Dine with Me looking in to warn BLISS that the football was starting last night. There was a woman. Wearing a hat. Indoors. With a feather stuck in it.

“Is it fancy dress, or is she stupid.” I said.

“It's fancy dress. And they're all stupid.” Heh.


Advent calendar music

8th December: James Brown – Soulful Christmas

9th December: Lou Baxter – Merry Christmas Baby

10th December: Clarence Carter – Back Door Santa, with the “I carry a mean sack” line

11th December: Chuck Berry – Run Run Rudolph

12th December: Louis Armstrong – Is that you, Santa Claus?


Come and See

A disturbing, fascinatingly graphic film about the Russian resistance during WWII. Seen from the point of view of a young boy who volunteers, and is recruited because he happens to find a rifle that's in working order.

To say he has a time of it is a huge understatement. Apparently the German forces raised 626 Belarussian villages, and almost all of their inhabitants, too.


About last night...

...apparently, that wasn't embarrassing for Arsenal.

Here's the thing:

Their goal can from a free kick. Conceded near the corner flag, when Hill 'megged the Verminator and got body-checked. The ball to Hill came from their 'keeper, kicking from his hands. That ball had to travel about 80 yards, without anyone in an Arsenal shirt doing anything about it. Either their 'keeper is a passing genius wasted between the sticks in the bottom division, or the defending was naive and lazy.

The miss from Gervinho is unbelievable. There's links to it all over the place today, and there's a frame from it showing him, the ball in easy reach, and an absolutely open goal about four yards away. You'd back a centre half trying to clear to score from there.

Our manager:

Chamakh (about one o'clock): am I starting boss? I usually start the CoC games.

Arsene: nope. We're going with the fall-overy bloke with the large, misshapen head. I know he's a wide player really, but you're so rubbish even he's better than you.

Arsene (about nine thirty): on you go Marouane, get us a goal, we rate you as a player, honest.

Arsene (about ten fifteen): second penno Marouane, cheers, good lad. Look, I know you got twenty minutes plus extra time, had a 'mare, copped a massive ticking off from a teenage player after your millionth misplaced pass, but, hey, you still got it, eh champ?

Arsene (about ten thirty): oh, hi Sir Alex. Theo? How much? (Examines the spreadsheet, which takes absolute priority over the teamsheet). Yeah, you're on. No probs. Cheers.

Arsene (thinks): £7.5m / year for winning ziltch. Money for old bus tickets. Why would I consider leaving?

The CEO (Ivor Gazumper) and the board: (in chorous) football? Whadda we know?

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