The open fire's lit...
...and I've ordered the turkey from the
butchers. Must be December.
Collecting the turkey
Euphemisms, Audrey. This involves
queuing, for a long time. Adrian trusts the keys to no-one, so he has
to open up, and he's rubbish at getting out of bed. Watching him set
up shop is comical. He stands tweaking the starters on the
fluorescent light fittings for ages because he's too tight to fork
out for new ones. Then he finds the float, hidden somewhere
resembling the bank in the Harry Potter films. Well. You can't take
chances with that five quid in change, can you? The turkey queue is
wonderful for gallows humour, taking the mickey out of Adrian (he
gets his own back, have you seen the price of those turkeys?), and
awful at moving quickly.
Early is good for getting to the head
of a shorter queue, but the shuffle forwards is slow because they
have to look through so many birds to find yours. Later in the day
the queue is longer, but moves faster as they get a better idea of
who's name is on which bag. It's an absolute necessity to go the
newsagents first, and, unless you're a slow reader, make it a
broadsheet.
The bad thing about the turkey
queue...
...is that being a bloke, the time
required eats into valuable last-minute present wrapping time.
The good things are...
...the gallows humour, taking the mick
out of Adrian, and the realisation that there's a few precious days
off heading your way, to be spent with the best company available.
A bad prediction
About 12:30, kitchen.
ME: I'm worried about the Arsenal game
today.
BLISS: (Feigning (and failing)
interest) why's that?
ME: Because Swansea're a good side and
Wenger will be arrogant as usual and rest our best players and we'll
get beat at home.
We duly got deservedly beaten 0 – 2,
and I think it's time for Wenger to go. If for no other reason, then
because he's costing the club a huge wage, more than the best paid
players. One argument is the “who's going to make things better?”
line, and if they don't, they don't. Without a change you'll never
know, and hell, we can save a few quid if the replacement is equally
disappointing. On paper we have a decent squad. The embarrassments
that rolled around on the floor when we were a goal down or pushing
for a winner, running the clock down on the opposition's behalf (you
know who you are, Eboue) have largely gone, even when things are not
going well they don't hide. However, they seem to play with one eye
on their successful pass stats, and we need someone more willing to
risk losing possession and play a faster, riskier game. We also need
to exorcise the ghost of Hleb and lose the too many touches before
conceding possession in any case idea.
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