You're nicked, old chap. I say, are these a bit too tight?

Open up, it's a retired deputy headmaster and ex-lollipop lady

The Guardian (and others) are upset by the US Police arms fair. Like an Ideal Home exhibition, just for guys who like guns, armoured vehicles, tasers, lasers and, who knows, even phasers. “Beam the bad lad up, Scotty”.

They've been armed longer than our lot, and they have a slightly better record than ours at sometimes shooting the right people (I think, from memory, Plod has pretty much a 100% success rate for shooting the wrong people).

I'm a bit old fashioned about cops. I want the bad guys looking down the barrel of matey above.

Not gleefully legging it away from the UK equivalent, below.

Not something to strike fear into the hearts of hardened criminals. Unlikely, to tell the truth, to strike fear into the hearts of twelve year olds from good homes experimenting with some shoplifting from the corner shop.