HABS
The male equivalent
of WAGS. Husbands And Boyfriends.
I caught a glimpse
of the England Ladies Cricket Team's HABS on the SKY coverage.
I'm no expert, but
reading books by Francis Edmunds and Hoggy (tagline: “He's as mad
as a box of frogs” Freddie Flintoff”) it seems that the world of
WAGS can be a competitive and sometimes unhappy place.
The HABS, in
contrast, were whooping it up, guzzling beer from plastic glasses,
and appeared entirely disinterested in what each other was wearing.
They looked, in short, absolutely chuffed to pieces to be there.
Take a card –
and bin it
In the process of
clearing out the desk drawers, which accumulate junk the way navels
accumulate fluff (see the third law of thermodynamics), I found a
business card holder from a weekly networking breakfast I used to
attend. It was run along strict lines by the local, area and national
managers (known to us, on the back benches, as the SS – notice
there's no 'affectionately' before that 'known'). There were no
allowed absences. Substitutes had to be lined up if you couldn't get
there, for whatever reason. It was a 06:30 meet for a 06:45 kick off.
But the most inexcusable thing, for me, was the need to stand up and
address the room, while your breakfast got cold. While
millions starve, surely you can re-jig the agenda so that a number of
£10 full Englishes don't go cold.
The cards were as
follows:
Thank christ I'll
never have to speak to that idiot ever again: six.
I'll never speak to
him / her again, and I'm entirely neutral about that: six.
He / she was a
decent person but the card will never be used again: four.
I'll keep that card:
one.
I've got his contact
details anyway: one.
The one who's
details I've got anyway?
We received a joint
ticking off for watching the Ashes on his iPhone.
We received a
massive follow-on ticking off because:
- We refused to stop watching.
- We showed no remorse whatsoever.
- As tick offees, we dared question the sanity, sexuality, and humanity of the tick offer.
We play cricket
(against each other) once or twice a year. He has a sense of humour,
and a backbone.
No comments:
Post a Comment