Plaza de Dead Witch

Madrid's Thatcher Square

Well, it isn't as bad as it sounds:

1. It's an existing square, not anything new...

2. ...other than the name.

3. Predictably, it's in a conservative area, and is therefore devoid of the slightest imagination or sense of identity.

4. There's no statue or nothin'. Not even a big photo, so that's okay.

This is why I don't vote:

A) The right do things like this, because they can. Wilfully celebrating the nasty, the evil, the selfish and the cruel.

B) The left have gone all victimised, as they do. They've branded the idea disrespectful to the poor she left behind (which is a fair comment) and have asked why there's no monument to the mining communities she destroyed (which is never going to happen).

This is when I might consider voting:

When a party said: “Yeah. Whatever. Knock yourself out, man.”

The conservatives: “I beg your pardon? We thought you'd be really upset, and everything...”

The proper party: “Yeah. Like, you won't be in power forever...”

“And...”

“And soon as you're ousted, Plaza de Margaret Thatcher becomes Ding Dong the Square Witch Is Dead Square...”

“But that's...you can't...that's...”

“Try us. Flanked by Arthur Scargil's Way...”

“No...no...”

“Bordered by Red Ken Road, Mandella Mews, and flanked by the Ragged Trousered Philanthropists Parade and the Tollpuddle Martyrs Museum.”

“You wouldn't...”

“Er...yes...yes we would, and more besides. So go for it while you can, baldie. Do your worst, because we're going to be doing ours, and it's going to be a shedload worse than anything you mongs can come up with.”

“But that's not fair and it's...”

“What it is, Sumo, me old mate, is no less than you deserve. Now, move along, I'm busy designing the Thatcher dartboard, Maggie's Moey bogroll, and a suitable monument for the square. I'm thinking Mags blowing one City banker while another dicks Ronnie Reagan up the arse.”

“That's obscene.”

“Obscene, buddy, is wrecking communities and lives because of a bee in a mad old lady's bonnet. That's obscene. And the idea of Plaza Margaret Thatcher.”