The Sex Lives of Siamese Twins

The Sex lives of Siamese Twins

Maybe it's being solidly on the spectrum, but despite all the reviewers seeming to think the fitness instructor is well over the top, she seems entirely believable to me. Maybe not in what she shares with the outside world, but certainly in what she thinks, and how she expresses herself. Perhaps my brain's not only lacking in the ability to empathise, but also hardwired for verbal shortcuts, the more profane the better.

The fitness instructor saves what turn out to be entirely undesirable characters, from a gunman who turns out to have a case against them, her have-a-go-hero status rapidly going sour. She picks up a client, an overweight artist, and takes extreme measures when the pounds don't drop off according to the programme.

There's a back-story of cojoined twins, one of who wants to make out with her boyfriend, while the other, bit of a bible-bashing prude, is grossed out by the idea. At the moment they're looking at surgical separation, despite some poor survival-rate numbers.

There's a full supporting cast. A bad-back fireman ex-boyfriend no longer entitled to mercy-sex. The owner of the gym where the personal trainer works, with, disfigured and missing genitalia after a close encounter with a barracuda suffering from the effects of a chemical spillage. There's estranged mum and dad, and an even stranger mum and dad, dodgy TV people, agents and PR opportunists, ranting politicians, fat folk who want to be thin without ditching the processed foods and convenience lifestyles. There's some Welsh set-pieces missing. No going to the fitba'. Not a lot of drugs. Instead there's a load of salad, tofu and egg-white omelettes, jogging, treadmills and free weights.

There's the feeling (it might be unique to me) that the fitness trainer's bit of a female Begbie wannabe. She's no stranger to violence, and flips out almost to order.

The reviews were lukewarm. Picky. Way too picky. You know (roughly) what to expect, and this delivers. If Irvine Welsh endlessly recycled Trainspotting, they'd moan about that, too.