Friday, 27 December 2013

Piers pummelled


Before knocking anyone...

...for their performances on the pitch, it's an idea to think first. Piers Morgan has blasted England cricketers, for their lack of courage. He's been unsympathetic to Jonathan Trott, who left the tour because of illness, and to Graeme Swann, without considering the surgery he went through recently to try and squeeze a few more overs from a tired body.

Even if you're not interested in cricket, this is worth watching.

Here's Piers facing a Brett Lee over. He's running in and bowling, but he's not properly fired up, not off his full run-up, he's retired from cricket, and even at his fastest, wasn't as quick as Mitchell Johnson's 92+ mph:


Morgan insists he loves and regularly plays cricket. He hasn't learnt any of the humility the game supposedly teachers its players, has he. He insisted that he regularly faced guest bowlers equivalent to Brett Lee playing for the opponents his side were facing, who were not going easy on him.

Ball by ball:

  1. Hit by ball while backing away to square leg. Not the bravest course of action.

  1. Dumped on his arse ducking a ball that was going miles over his head in any case.

  1. Hit by ball, backing away, again.

  1. Hit by ball, backing away, again again.

  1. Bowled, leg stump knocked over, exposed as he backed away.

  1. Hit by ball...etc.

Before giving it all the “my mum could do better”, there's the need to consider just how good and how dedicated and how brave these blokes are to be doing what they're doing. Fair enough, Morgan put his money where his mouth is. But he lost the lot.


Leftover curry

I hate wasting food, but enjoy using up leftover wherever possible. I've tried various ways to make that cliché turkey curry, but this year I stumbled on a way to make a proper, hot curry sauce that, while it does not inflict pain, does leave the tongue stinging and nose running.

Gently fry a large onion, as much garlic and ginger as you think might be over the top, and then some, and nine (I dropped one, so used ten) little green chillies (cut down on these for less heat). Cook until everything's soft. As long as nothing burns and goes bitter, there's nothing to go wrong, so long and slow is the way to do it.

More leftovers: a large tomato from the salad tray, chopped, goes in.

Then your favourite curry powder or paste, whatever you prefer.

More leftovers: loads of that chicken stock next. If it goes too runny, some broken up leftover roast spuds or parsnips or carrots will bulk it back up. Too thick, more stock.

Leave it bubbling while you do other stuff. Eventually, when you remember or start getting hungry, zizz it with the hand blender thingy leaving a smooth curry sauce to bung the leftover turkey or chicken into.

Use veggie stock for a spud or mixed veg or (if you're intent on breaking the wind speed record) sprouts. Improvise a sag paneer with leftover greens and stilton.

Make lots and stick it in the fridge for laters.

That tenth chilli? May have been one too many.

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