Le difference

Vive le different brains

In a very scientific study using all sorts of scientific kit and equipment, they've found bloke's and girl's brains work in different ways. Either that or someone's drawn some lines superimposed on images of the brain and everyone's fallen for the hoax.

The bloke:

First of all, all the lines are blue. They run front to back, or back to front, and not much crosses the crease down the middle. Hardwired, apparently, for perception and spatial awareness and stuff, with not much going on between the left and right, logical and intuitive hemispheres. Not much going on at all, according to BLISS.

See? This is why I have to stop talking when doing something difficult, like putting a jumper on.

The girl:

See. All the lines are brown. Totally different. Loads of cris-crossing between the hemispheres. Hardwired for memory and multitasking, apparently. The (female) scientist said that's why women are better at listening and communicating, they're emotionally engaged.

Contrary to stereotype, I do have some, albeit very limited, multitasking ability.

1. Classrooms and lectures. I am able to be present in body, and sometimes (rarely) even appear engaged and interested, while looking out of the window calculating just how much longer I can endure the torture.
2. Elderly ladies. I can occasionally almost feign interest in their maladies, bus waiting times, the price of beans, and the national knitting wool shortage, while wondering what sort of team Wenger's going to put out in the midweek Carling Cup game.
3. Business networking. Yeah, yeah, yeah, blah, blah, blah. Instead of saying “you've just confirmed beyond any doubt my suspicion that surveyors / accountants / lawyers / bankers are among the most boring of super-boring company” I'll be saying “really, how interesting” while, at the same time, wondering what sort of team Wenger's going to put out in the midweek Carling Cup game.

Yes, I know it's the Capital One Cup this year.

So there it is, all scientific and everything. Blokes have straight blue lines in their brains, and can do caveman stuff okay, and not much else. No wonder there's so much mental illness around, there's incredibly unrealistic expectations of us.

Girls have nice brown squiggly lines and are joined up thinkers, who can juggle doing loads of different stuff all at once, in touch with their, and others' emotions while doing it.

Me? I can't answer the door or the phone during a six nations rugby match.