Oy! Where's me sticker doc?

The Drs and cutbacks...

It seems I've lost a stone in weight. It's taken a year. But the cutbacks have bitten, and I didn't get a sticker or anything.

I'm not sure they make (Slightly) Less Fat B****rd stickers in any case.

Fat kids

They may have to start making some stickers appreciating the attainment of (slightly) less flabby status, because one third of kids are leaving primary school obese.

Gym won't fix it

The sports scientists are saying that the lack of physical exercise kids are getting amounts to neglect by successive governments.

As with a whole lot of things, I blame Maggie. Until the evil witch took office, we had prime ministers that went to the cup final. Whatever else, it set some sort of example of appreciating team sports. Thatcher stripped the teamwork, the community, the whole as more than the sum of its parts idea from the national psyche as far as she possibly could. I know few (or no) people agree with me, but I'm convinced that those that seek power, and are trapped in puny bodies, seek to dis-enpower the physically strong. That's why they picked on the miners, continue to pick on the firemen, there's a fear of the genuine, hairy-arsed, strong of arm old-fashioned types. Anyway, she started the big school pitch sell-off, and it continued under labour and continues still under the unholy alliance.

There's the hub of the problem. Solitary souls, political folk don't understand sport. Yet playing competitive team sport, while not the only way, is almost the only way to keep people active throughout their lives. The politicians bang on about gyms and dance classes and fitness classes and all that bull. Well, it don't work. Fitness First and Balantynes and other gym providers business models depend on oversubscribing by about 1,000% on the basis that at any time nine out of ten members will have found something more pressing to do. Dancing is a social activity, not any sort of workout and no substitute for team sports, because signing up to play for a team means commitment:

• You can't choose the day. “I can't do Saturday this week, skip, but I can do Sunday.” “Right-oh. I'll let our other players know, and the opposition and we'll see you on Sunday.” “Really?” “Like f**k really, you're dropped, let me know when you're available again, but you may not be needed. Goodbye.”
• You can't choose the time. “I can't get there for two, I can make half three.” “We'll see you at half three then.” “Really?” “Yeah, really. Bring a tray to carry the drinks out on and your counters, we need an umpire for the after-tea session.”
• You have to force yourself to be up for the game. “Sorry Skip, feeling dreadful today” “Recuperate, take next week off, you're dropped” “Sorry Skip, feeling very tired today” “Have a rest mate, next Saturday afternoon would be good, you're no longer needed”.

You just have to get your arse out there and perform. When one comes along, be it having to foul an opponent and cop a yellow card, be it facing that nasty quick bowler, be it making that last-ditch tackle that's going to mean wearing some of their striker's studs home, embedded in a knee, you have to take that one for the team.

The sports experts are dead right. MM going through secondary school without any formal, lesson time cricket coaching, yet having to waste PE sessions doing salsa? That's not just neglect in my opinion, that's neglect with abuse.

That's why Russell Brand's right, there's no point voting, all the parties have gone along with selling off school pitches and none of them show any interest in proper team sports, unless it represents a photo opportunity. Their much-trumpeted olympics? Participation at grass roots has fallen off since. The time for revolution has arrived.

Francois who?

By way of example, anyone with the slightest interest in team sport can name Francois Pienaar as the man who's number Nelson Mandela had on his back when he danced on the pitch in his replica shirt.

Cameron's interview included something about “who could forget”...blah, blah... “seminal images”...blah blah … “of the Springbok's captain...”.

Obviously, Dave, you're among those who could forget, you over-privileged, foxhunting, tennis-playing, pretender.