See you in the 6XL boxer shorts section

The World According to BLISS

Part One: My Arse

“I can’t afford to put on weight” she said. “Whereas you can. You’ve always had a big arse. Even when you were skinny you had a big arse.”

It seems that us folk who fell from the upper branches of the bigarse tree and hit every twig and leaf on the way down,  then landed up in Lardarse, in the state of Hugebutt, and had to make straight for the 6XL Boxer Shorts section of the nearest department store, well, we may be less evolved than those in the used car salesman buns of steel corner, but we’re better equipped to cope with middle age spread and late middle age “oy, lend us your pants, mate, we’re having a jamboree”.

Political conference…

Dumb, Glum and Glummer

Looks great, don’t it? These are like the front end of the front benchers here. The cheerleaders. Jesus. What a waste of time and money.

Worth noting that even as his tory mates were joining in giving the Daily Mail bit of a kicking, Gove defended the worst newspaper in the world.

Entirely coincidentally (otherwise he'd be the sort of nasty little swine who cynically pursues his personal agenda to the exclusion of all other concerns) his wife writes for the Mail.

DLL and I are going to see Filth this afternoon. I’m sure we’ll be having a much better time than these three.

Coconut crab

They live on land, these dudes, and they’re the biggest exoskeleton guys there are, and, well, imagine finding one of these on the side of your wheelybin.