Appy birthday!

‘Appy Brf’day!

Kiz. Enjoy whatever you get up to. No, I don’t want to know.

The difference between a writer and a political journalist…

…illustrated by the BBC radio political chat-talk-whatever-drone woman, who came out with (about the American shutdown of public services) “it’s a Mexican stalemate”. Wrong on so many levels. Standoff, not stalemate. Mexican standoff refers to a confrontation between two or more parties, that no-one can win. Usually armed, none of them can shoot first for fear of retaliation, none can drop their weapons, because then they’re sure to be shot at. This actually works best in a three or more way situation. Just the two of you, shoot first, with any luck that’s it, job done, particularly if you follow the Zombieland double tap tip. Three plus and you shoot, and the one you ‘aint shot shoots you, unless you’re really really fast and can get them both, but that lessens with four or more standoff participants.

In Bleeding Edge, Thomas Pynchon puts things something like this:

“What we have is a standoff. Whatever ethnicity you choose.”

I’ll use my leisure time on the writer, and give the political groupie a miss, thanks.

Bleeding Edge

Whatever else the critics say, there’s agreement that Pynchon catches the patterns and cadence of everyday Americans talking to each other, and captures the wit, too. Not everyone’s idea of how to construct a readable novel, he does what life does and throws characters into and out of the mix. No, not all of them are fully developed and rounded. Are regularly occurring people in your life? The postman? That neighbour you see once or twice a year? The ticket man at the station?

Set at the bursting of the dotcom bubble, I like the cyberspace and meatspace settings, I like the use of Internet-age language, I like the way it flits, between characters and complex plotlines, the way modern kids flick between browser tabs or satellite channels. I like Pynchon’s books. They tend to be doorsteps, and they tend to be daunting early on, but they’re worth the reading time.

Every kid’s birthday…

…I reflect on their actual birth day, and can’t help doing that “where has all that time gone?” thing. Old age and declining brainpower leading to thinking in clichés, I suppose.

The Nature of Time Theory…

…forget black holes, subatomic particles, strings, ten dimensions and all that theoretical physics, here’s all you need to know about time in one easy lesson:

Time is a sneaky, slippery bastard. It evaporates faster than a volatile liquid on a hot day. It slips through careless fingers faster than sand and more easily than wet soap. It speeds up at weekends. Wherever it can, it will play its tricks on you, so watch it carefully, manage it the very best way you can, and avoid people who sap it like the plague.