The great bean robbery
Thieves have stolen 6,400 tins of Heinz
baked beans. Unfortunately for them, their fences, and the café
owners who may have ultimately profited from their criminal
enterprise, they have nicked the more niche market and less easily
resaleable beans with sausages. Not something your average punter
wants with their egg, bacon, sausage and mushrooms.
What made me laugh out loud was the
police statement, where in true Cybil Fawlty (specialist subject the
bleedin' obvious) fashion they said:
'[The police] are appealing for
information, especially about anyone trying to sell large quantities
of Heinz baked beans in suspicious circumstances.”
There is a huge temptation to grass up
your local Tesco or Co-op, or café. Anyone other than a food outlet
or supermarket dealing in large quantities of tinned goods must
register as suspicious?
Apparently TV is now better than
film (according to some bloke in the Guardian):
I can't see it myself.
- The long story
Yes TV give you longer, and I take
Breaking Bad as a great example. It gives way too long, on the other
hand, to pile s of rubbish way too often, and isn't as clever or as
ruthless as the film industry when it comes to recognising that it
is time to call a halt.
- Less franchise-fixated
Is it? Spin offs abound. Copy-cat
programming, identikit hospital dramas, same-old same- old, the film
guys are getting there, but have a way to go to catch up.
- The power of surprise
Yeah, the occasional programme is just
about watchable and even more rarely worth watching, that isn't
surprise, that's just lowered expectations, due to experience.
- Word of mouth
Small shows get taled up and watched
by millions, and the same goes for films. Not a unique television
win, mate.
- Actors best work
The example given is Idris Elba being
excellent in The Wire, then ropey in a thriller with Beyonce. But he
was only decent in Luther and it isn't the medium, it's the quality
of the material that makes the difference, and while the best telly
has got better, most, sadly, hasn't.
- The British excel at TV
Do they? Cited are: Downton Abbey
(yawn, yawn, scratch, stretch, yawn, dribble, yawn), Top Gear (eh?
right wing racist tory bigot petrol heads trading clichés and acting
like they weren’t the bullied nerds they obviously were – jesus,
if Clarkson (next in the Savile / Hall / Harris queue, trust me) is
quality UK telly, that goes a long way explaining why I avoid it
like a plague-ridden plaguey thing with the plague), and Dr Who
(which was ok, the first new bit, with the northern bloke who was
actually funny – nothing to write home about since). Nope, they do
not.
- British actors rule the US
It does come as a surprise that
Dominic West and Idris Elba, in The Wire, are Brits. Could the right
Yanks have carried the roles equally well? Well, yes they could.
- The bond with characters
Intimacy? Who feels intimate with a
soap opera character (this item on the list has a photo of the
granny out of Eastenders with it)? Characters as extended family? I
don't need extended family, and certainly don't need some sort of
imaginary telly friends. Sorry mate. Point not made, epic fail,
whatever. Intimacy? Family bond? Bog off with your rubbish.
- Big film stars of tomorrow are on TV now
And?
- TV made NetFix successful
Er, and?
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