Mitchell v Partridge

There's a row broken out...

...well, sort of a row. It depends where you stand on the accurate reporting really. Semantics, too. Where does a spat escalate to mild bickering, and at what point does sniping become a proper row?

In the blue corner there's David Mitchell, and in the red corner Steve Coogan.

I'm in the blue corner. Just in case there's any doubt.

Start and end well. That's a good rule to adhere to. Coogan starts:

“I've been a big fan over the years, I've enjoyed your witty asides, acerbic observations, character acting and voiceovers. In fact, despite your ubiquity, you are consistently well above average. I never normally criticise fellow entertainers unless a) I respect them and b) they come out with ill-informed and superficial dross on a serious issue. I'm afraid that on this occasion you qualify.”

Good at the very start, then it falls away somewhat, before becoming a tad damning, as in “superficial dross”. Not exactly looking for conciliation there, Steve, are we? Particularly not when you finish with:

“David, if your article were a schoolboy's essay, it would score highly for style. But it would be covered in red ink with frequent use of the word "sloppy", finishing with: "See me."

The schoolmaster's criticism. By the non-schoolmaster, of the non-pupil. Never goes down well, that.

An aside: I don't get Alan Partridge, (and why)

The perceived and clichéd wisdom seems to be:

“Don't turn away the god-botherers knocking at your door; invite them in and talk to them and waste their time”

Why the perceived wisdom don't work:

It only works if this equation is satisfied:

your time's value < their time's value.

Otherwise, you lose. Let's face it, these numpties have the time to waste knocking on your door, be they Jehovas, your local tory / labour / libdem /or mormons, they have the spare time to come pitching up, hoping to talk to someone they don't know. If your time is sub-prime enough to make engaging them, on balance, a minus for them, then go ahead. Every minute you hold them up, that's a minute of your time evaporated. I can't see how you're beating the doorsteppers.

So Alan Partridge is wasted on me. A very accurate satire on the am tv presenter, but if you avoid the morning telly rubbish, why waste time on someone satirising what you don't understand in the first place? Why waste the time?

So...

...Partridge Coogan goes on to claim that no politicians want to manipulate the press. Not like Thatcher did over Hilsborough, eh Alan Steve? Like Leveson and all the Hacked off lot, there's a lot of tub-thumping and reams and reams of rhetoric. But free speech means just that. No rules. Rules are made by people who benefit from them being imposed.