Actually, it is
a funny old game
I was run out. Marky Shep was supposed to look after me, he
had the view of what was going on. He gave a bad call, and I was, albeit
narrowly, run out. Deserving sympathy, there was none, just laughter.
Apparently, what’s fat, round and has trouble running fifty
yards? Me.
What has a turning circle approximately equivalent to that
of the Queen Elizabeth II, the raw pace of a slow snail[1], bats
with a railway sleeper (which slows him down even more), excels only at eating
crisp-enhanced sandwiches and talking non-stop rubbish all afternoon (with the
occasional outrageously optimistic appeal thrown in)?
That’d be me too, it seems.
The afternoon started with Rich’s modelling what could be
the most redundant sports kit ever: a pair of fielding pads, that made him look
like he was wandering about with callipers on his legs. We gave them an over.
They didn’t last that long, back in his bag before the start of play.
There was a lot of hilarity in between.
It ended with absolute proof that Gaelic flair either is a
myth or hasn’t been transmitted to the genes of B O’S and AD, as the Welsh –
Irish pair blocked out for the draw. You could cut the tedium with a blunt
spoon. If you retained sufficient will to live, to live long enough to do so,
and as long as the boredom had not resulted in numbness and immobility in the
limbs to match that of the scoreboard.
The Sunday morning damage test revealed aching knees
(responded well to walking the dogs for just over an hour – got things moving),
bit of sun-dried skin, and grinning and rib muscles tired from over-use.
A great game at any level
Sky asked the England cricket team a series of
questions, like:
What inspired you to play sport? Generally? “My Dad.”
Who are your inspirational ex-players?
Graeme Swann (who answered “a sense of humour” to the most
essential attribute) kept a straight face and reeled off Ian Botham, Nasser
Houssain, Mike Atherton, David Lloyd, Mike Holding, David Gower, all in the Sky
commentary team.
Bumble Lloyd then summed it up: these are all just ordinary
blokes who happen to be among the best in the world at what they do, and they
enjoy doing it.
[1] An AD
joke here: I took the shell off my racing snail to see if he went faster, but
now he’s become a bit sluggish.
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