Mad, swivel-eyed loons, soon to depart for UKIP

He may well be a ….

...but he's our...

It's a sport thing. It goes (something like) this:

“He may be a [INSERT FROM THE FOLLOWING], but he's our [REPEAT WHAT WAS INSERTED FROM THE FOLLOWING].”

• Fat
• Slow
• Useless
• Overpaid
• Over-rated
• Clueless
• Bone-idle
• Ugly
• Etc.

For example:

“He may be an overpaid, overweight, big girl's blouse who couldn't hit a cow's arse with a banjo, but he's our overpaid, overweight, big girl's blouse who couldn't hit a cow's arse with a banjo.”¹

The point is, stop your whining, and get behind your team, however imperfect, as individuals, they may be.

In spectacularly taking exactly the opposite approach, and spelling out in six feet high neon letters Westminster's contempt for the electorate they're supposed to represent, a senior tory and Cameron aide said that MPs had had to vote how they did on the referendum motion because...

“...the associations tell them to, and the associations are all mad, swivel-eyed loons.”

Way to win the hearts of your (already wobbling, UKIP-eroded) grass roots support, dude.

Somehow, I don't think Cameron will have his arm around this guy's shoulders, giving him the words of wisdom:

“They may, old chum, all be mad, swivel-eyed loons, but they're tories, of course they're all mad, swivel-eyed loons, and they happen to be our mad, swivel-eyed loons.”

The bloke that called his grassroots supporters mad, swivel-eyed loons (a description of tory voters that I think should catch on, shortened to M-SELS or emsels, “what do you know about anything, you're a proper emsel, you”) has, naturally, denied doing so. The fact that it was said in hearing range of a number of journalists won't diminish the vehemence of the denial, but remember these are legals we're dealing with, so he may well not have said what is claimed, but rather called them mad, swivel-eyed drooling nutters, or mad home county swivel eyed loons, or something similar.

1“Couldn't hit a cow's arse with a banjo” is poetry, it is joyfully off-the-wall use of language and imagery, it is nothing short of genius. In fact, from now on, my answer to that “you can sit next to anyone from history you like at a dinner party, who's it going to be?” question is: “whoever came up with 'he couldn't hit a cow's arse with a banjo' thing”.