Some irony

How to make yourself look stupid and alienate people…

…well, Rich anyway. I fully understand. He had some sympathy for Carole Thatcher. Until she referred to her mother as The Iron Lady. Instantly, compassion disappeared down the plughole of contempt. So I did a bit of research. Clearly, whoever came up with the ‘Iron’ thing, her equivalent of Tony’s odious Campbell, was out of their tiny mind, didn’t realise just how hilarious it was, or had a wicked sense of iron-y (sorry).

Here’s some deserved Irons:

The Duke of Wellington. Went to war. Himself. Not from the safety of a bunker miles from the front line. No sinking of a retreating ship of civilians on his CV.

Iron Mike Tyson. If he can’t batter you (and there’s a better than 99.99% probability that he can) he’ll bite your ear off.

By the way, why do Mike Tyson’s eyes water after sex?

It’s the pepper spray.

World Cup winning Irons, (left to right) Moore, Peters, Hurst.

 

Another legendary Iron, Billy Bonds. That's enough of the West Ham.

Marvel Comics Iron Man.

Now, in you-couldn’t-make-it-up nonsense-ville:

Iron your arms, neck and face love, they’re all wrinkly.

“Mrs Thatcher”

“What”

“What does ‘iron hoof’ mean? The rough boys, they keep calling me an iron hoof”

Is that Barbara Cartland? Do me a favour love, iron me a shirt, there’s a dear.

Without pretend power, without physical presence, without control of bladder or brain, without police or armed forces back-up. Iron? Formidable? Do me a favour. Philosan, Horlicks and empty the bag last thing, if you remember.