A perfect storm

The Tempest

Our first outing to the Globe of the season, earlier than ever, I think. All thanks to BLISS who organises everything for us, and is staying home with newboy dog, and, hopefully, getting some rest. It's a shame that she's done all the work behind the scenes (geddit?) and can't come and enjoy the day.

I'm frantically Sparknoting (verb: cramming before the play) trying to get up to Tempest speed.

Run Lola Run

I watched Run Lola Run last night. What a great film. Saying anything much would be a spoiler, other than it's German, the soundtrack's great, too, and why have I not seen it before?

Hairy-arsed blokes – how to get the best out of them

We're a dying species, and there's a lack of skills out there in dealing with us. Observing some simple rules and principles can avoid issues arising:

1. Two's a crowd. Take scaffold for example. Main contractor gets fixed costs per his tender return. Appointing him is up to me. How that cost's split (erection, hire, strike) is entirely between him and his subby. He can flood it with labour or it can stand idle. Twitching your curtains and moaning on a bout it, and claiming it's costing you money just shows you up for the ignorant, meddling, no-life fool you are. Like driving. Either sit back and accept the fact that someone else is bearing all the stress and worry for you, or here's the keys, you do it. We can't both get behind the wheel at once.

2. Better than it was is better than it was. Fire Brigade training school. The promise: clean your billets and you'll be off early on Friday afternoon. First Friday inspection: top of lampshades, behind lockers, depths of the kitchen cupboards. The next Friday? We did nothing. Read the papers, chilled, drank tea, got roasted at the first inspection (as we would no matter how we tried), did a bit of derisory hoovering, chilled a bit more, left at five the same as the week before. Accept that some effort and improvement has been made. Or you'll be getting less than zero.

3. The job and knock imperative. A favourite story. New officer sent into Battersea, a traing school mate of mine. His theory: keep everyone ticking over, and they'll stay out of mischief. Nope. They soon got the hang of that, and played him at his own game. This is how it went:

New Officer (NO): Can you go and count the cylinders in the breathing apparatus room, please, I need to let staff know how many we're holding.

Old Hand (OH): Okay.

An hour passes.

OH: (Enter OH). Do you have a pen, please. Thanks. (Exit OH).

Another hour passes.

OH: (Enter OH). Do you have any paper, please. Thanks. (Exit OH).

Another hour later.

OH: (Enter OH). One.

Wind the spring, let us know what you want done. When it's done? Treat us like you would a bear with a sore head and a pot of his favourite honey.

Something the management of a gas appliance servicing company never learn about getting the most from their guys.

4. Draw a line and move on. Having decided on a colour, a method of repair, whatever, having invested the time (the mind-numbingly slow-ticking, boring, will-sapping time) to discuss things up hill, down dale, up several more hills and down any number of dales, that's that. The last thing anyone wants to hear is that you've thought about it and want to re-open discussions. There's new things to sort out. We've shook hands on that deal, it's done.