New superfoods

Real superfoods

Broccoli and spinach smoothies? Three egg-white omelettes? Breakfast that comes in a bowl that you eat with a spoon (and not on a plate that you eat with HP sauce)? It's time for a rethink on what superfoods are. Here's the updated list:

1. Fresh garlic, ginger and chillies. Antibiotic. Warming. Endorphin-releasing. You can't overdose on them either, as demonstrated by a new hero. The guy who ate his way through the hottest curry in the world. He had to sign a disclaimer, he had to stop at one point because he was hallucinating, but he lived to tell the tale. The curry had some of the hottest chillies available, scored several million on the chilli scale, and was topped up, heat-wise, with some scotch bonnets, red bird's eye chillies, and chilli powder. Many are called, few are chosen, and this bloke was the first success after loads of failed attempts. He's still alive and well and hopefully dining out on his feat right now on something less fierce, but packed with the goodness of chillies, ginger and garlic.

2. Yoghurt. Must be plain. Don't ruin a genuine treat with mucky and unnecessary sweet babyfood. Take it on the rocks, as it was intended. Or with mint, cucumber, or garlic.

3. Five spice powder. Under utilised. I've just spiced a vegetable soup with it, and the star anais heavy mix has made the kitchen smell fantastic. An uplifting, heady, apettite-stimulating aroma.

4. Chapati. There's something blissful about something so simple yet so perfect. Dispense with the fork and spoon and scoop, slurp, and mop up some sauce-rich lentil dhal or chickpea channa with torn-off pieces. Flour, salt and water, and the nerve to get a dry pan really hot is all you need.

5. Fresh coriander. Must be good for you. Just has to be.

More controversially, there list continues:

6. Quavers. Frazzles. Salt 'n' vinegar and plain chipsticks. Monster munch of any flavour.

7. Twiglets.

8. Liver and bacon with mash and greens. Proper gravy, too.

9. That classic dish of modern cuisine: double pancake roll, special fried rice, and Chinese curry sauce. If you're in need of a boost to your immune system, morale, or just extremely hungry, you can double up on the SFR.

10. Full English breakfast, especially these elements: black pudding, fried bread, tinned tomatoes, huge mugs of tea and doorsteps of bread and butter.

Why should the hippies in the muesli aisle have all the moral high ground?

There's also any number of undervalued vegetables. Turnips (ask Baldric), leeks (ask the Welsh), fennel (ask the fens), spring onions. Some even come in jars: pickled onions (good for the heart and personal space); gherkins (but if the word 'sugar' appears on the label avoid them like the plague). I had an uncle who made the best ever. Home grown, home made, dill, coriander seeds, a bit of chilli, punchy and crisp. Complete meals include the kebab roll. Curry-spiced mince (look, I neither know nor care, just mince, okay?) squeezed onto a skewer and grilled, and wrapped in a chapati or rosti with loads of salad, yoghurt and garlic and chilli sauces. Half time? Meat pie and Bovril.