Have a punt. Ladbrokes? No! Santander? Yes! Game on...

Ringfencing the high street from the casino bank

That's the plan. Taking the fence metaphor further, there was talk about electrified, high ringfencing. Then there's Santander, advertising their ISA, that pays an additional 0.1% if Rory McIlroy wins a major golf tournament this year. Get some interest on your savings, and have a punt at the same time. Why not just go straight to William Hill?

My eyes did that cartoon thing...

...where they pop out on stalks. Klaxons blare out in the background. When they're back in their sockets, they get a good rub before being opened again. One by one. Slowly. Just to see if the horror was real...

...yes, there he is...

...on the cover of 'Writer' magazine. Nope, not a nightmare. I didn't go on to look at Jimmy Savile on the cover of 'Childcare'; Jeremy Clarkson on the cover of 'Greenpeace'; Aled Jones between Slipknot and Motorhead on the cover of 'Kerrang'; Charles Hawtree on the cover of 'Bodybuilder'. The front pages didn't say “First Woman Pope – Mama Mia!” and the back pages were not full of news of Arsenal spending serious money on proper players.

I can only think it must be a: ...before...and way before...thing. Nailing my colours to the mast here, Archer is an odious, obnoxious, horrid little ball of Thatcherite slime. His neck is what the guillotine was invented for.

Motorhead tribute band

There was a blackboard outside a pub advertising a Motorhead tribute band: Motorheadache.

Tiffin tins and eating lunch

I've tried a variety of ways to take some lunch into work. The various plastic containers left in the fridge invariably remain there, forgotten. Sandwiches suffer the same fate. I bought a plastic, swing opening multi-compartment job hoping that it would inspire me to make some food to take to work, and that I might remember something larger and more obvious. Unfortunately, it had to be kept level and the right way up, or it leaked all over the place. My car (and my world) isn't a level, right way up all the time place, so it leaked all over the place and became abandoned in the cupboard black hole zone.

Then the Chinese supermarket had one of these (the last one of these on the shelf) in a tatty box, labelled 'slight dent £5.00'.

I didn't use it straight away, in fact it rolled around in the back of the car for a bit, as it seemed to have Harvest Apple Pie syndrome (big box, small item inside). I'll never get enough in there, I thought, no wonder they're selling them off reduced.

Then I gave it a go. Simple, robust, easy to wash up, the clamps hold it all together watertight. Rice, curry, potato curry, salad. Chapati, curry, salad, yoghurt raitha. Bhajis, tikka, yoghurt, onion and tomato salad and lemon wedges.