Friday, 22 March 2013

A web of computer cables


Headphone and computer cables

If I knew how to, this would be one of those vote now things. But then, if I knew how there'd be adverts on here paying me money, and links to other blogs down the right-hand side (a 'blog-roll' I've seen it called recently), and all sorts of singing, dancing, slow-down-the-loading stuff.

So. What should the collective noun for computer and headphone cables be?

  • A tangle 17%

  • A weave 6%

  • A knot 35%

  • A spaghetti 42%

A confusion? An irritation? A timewaste?


A niche shop

Some suburb on the outskirts of Bromley has a 'World of Sewing' shop. That's definitelt not operating in the mainstream market.

“If I had a sewing shop...” I thought (slow news day on Radios Four and Five, I suppose), “...I'd call it Pricks with Needles.”


We must hate Cyprus

We've sent people to help Cyprus with their financial crisis. We've sent them civil servants. Civil servants. The poor people of Cyprus must be thinking “what've we done to make them hate us like this?”

These are the guys that cost the taxpayer millions by mismanaging the West Coast rail line sell off. Not a great track record.

These are the guys who've bankrupt the NHS. They're not capable of maintaining a healthy budget.

These are the guys who buy expensive helicopters that crash, rifles that jam, and send our military personnel into the dessert. Wearing jungle camouflage kit. They should get the bullet for that.

These are the guys who got the G4 income forecast wrong by a billion quid. That's £1,000,000,000. They can't get the right numbers.

If you were on the receiving end of help like that, wouldn't you bundle them back on the first plane home? No-one's ever been in that much trouble that a bunch of Tim Nice but Dims on huge salaries for overseeing and endless series of shambles and waste is going to make things better.


Who's next?

Savile. Jim Davidson. The bloke out of Coronation Street. Stuart Hall.

Who's next out of the Operation Yew Tree closet?

  • Jeremy Clarkson Even money

  • Chris Moyles 2 / 1

  • Ant 6 / 4

  • Dec 6 /4

  • Simon Cowell betting suspended

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