The Submission
Amy Waldman's what if...a Muslim won an
open competition to design the 9/11 memorial has just hit another
couple of what ifs:
What if he and a colleague and best
friend were looking to start up on their own. To the point of
registering a company name. Without their practice knowing. What if
the Muslim architect hadn't told said best mate and potential future
partner that he was entering a design. What if the press did some
Google magic and arrived, unannounced, en mass, at the
no-longer-potential future partner's door?
What if the reporter given the
exclusive had a huge ambition and ego to manage, and she was quickly
relieved of the exclusiveness of her story?
What if the Governor had a huge
(presidential) ambition and ego to manage, and wasn't remotely
interested in the rights and wrongs, just political expediency?
The headline said Queen Beatrix
hands crown to son
See? This is where I don't understand
the monarchy thing. Not one little bit. Would you want to hear:
“Right. That's you prepped for your
appendectomy, Mr Jones. Now. I've got a pressing engagement at the
golf course, so my son will be carrying out the operation. Yes, he is
an accident-prone, clumsy, sausage-fingered oaf with a masters in
Civil Engineering and doesn't know, in medical terms, his glutes from
his elbow. Ha! He does know either of those from a hole in the
ground. Because they're what he's trained in. But, anyway, he's my
son so off you both go. And good luck.”
“Gas leak?” “Yes” “Well, Mr
Jones, I've another potential gas leak to go and look at, so, may I
introduce my son, who will look after you.” “Is he GasSafe?”
“Heavens no. He's an actor between roles. Good luck. Bye.”
“FIRE, FIRE” “Jump on lads, try
not to crash into anything on your way there...”
That's what I don't understand. Sorry.
No offence to you nice English people. Just don't get it. My fault.
Don't vote, it only encourages them
Our elected leader want to be judged on
one thing only. Reducing the deficit. All the other stuff can take a
running jump. Education. Health. That second rate rubbish. The claim?
Reduced by a quarter. That's if you go for their figures. Their
figures take 24% and make that a quarter. That 24% is the absolute
best of a bewildering array of figures that start at about 6% and
rise to...er...24%. That's a bit selective, isn't it, in terms of key
performance indicator. That absolute best? That's for the last
financial year. That means you need to ignore everything since April
last year. That's a little while ago. Taking those months into
account the 24% drops dramatically. Economist's preferred measure
stands at 6.4%. That a quarter of the quarter being claimed. Or,
nowhere remotely near. Or sufficiently far removed, I'd argue, to
illustrate yet again the insanity of wasting your time voting for any
of them, while there's an unwatched episode of The Walking Dead on
the Sky recorder box, a White Stripes you've not yet listened to, a
Bergman film unwatched, or a Pynchon novel to read. Or your hair to
wash.
No comments:
Post a Comment