Wednesday, 27 February 2013

My wallet's in El Segundo


The benefits of mild OCD, and early onset “oh no, where'd I leave that?”

Yeah, I left my wallet in El Segundo,
Left my wallet in El Segundo,
Left my wallet in El Segundo,
I gotta get, I got-got ta get it

No matter how much checking I do, I often end up going back to collect what I've forgotten. “Back already?” BLISS did catch me, once. Coming back for the dog. Having gone out to walk the dog. “Camera.” “Notepad.” “Keys.”What's the lesson there? More checking? Or just go and don't waste time on the ineffective checking?

I have worked with guys who make me late for meetings because they endlessly have to check their briefcases, pockets, jackets, briefcases (again), desk drawers (quite what for I don't know) and so on, before setting off on the great adventure that is a few stops on the tube and a client meeting. Forgot your Oyster Card? There's a ticket machine, and, if all else fails, a person behind a glass window to organise a ticket for you. No pen? Smiths? Cornershop? Bookies? Argos? Look, mate, how many security blankets do you need to be swaddled in before being crowbarred from the air conditioned comfort of your desk?

My impatience and exasperation is born of a number of things:

A dollop of self (over) confidence. I think I can cope with anything, armed with little or nothing. Experience suggests that fully equipped and trained, I can cope with a very limited range of circumstances. It seems that self-confidence trumps experience. I've put out a third-floor kitchen and living room fire with just a nine litre water extinguisher, and some pots and pans (once the kitchen was almost under control) while everyone else battled to save the life of a heart arrest young girl on the ground floor.

Forgetfulness means you don't remember how prone to forgetting stuff you are. How could you?

Low OCD tolerance. I'd rather do without something, muddle through, even if it's a consequence of making a point and heading off in a super-decisive manner, than be seen to be faffing. BLISS and DLL are in a chosen few of the two of them to ever see me dithering.

Zero belt and braces tolerance, where belt and braces are not required. Yes. The Titanic crew could've done with some more lifeboat drills (and indeed, with some more lifeboats). Taking the Civic to Sainsbury's does not need full survival kit and a three-page checklist.


Talking of which...

...as of 2016 you will be able to go on a cruise, on a Titanic replica, imaginatively named: Titanic II. Apparently cruises will include period costume.


William Burroughs said...

...something about after a shooting everyone clamouring to take guns away from everyone who didn't do it. All balloons (that didn't crash) in Egypt are grounded, while accident investigators investigate the balloon that crashed. Way to go, health and safety people. A sensible, balanced and measured response. That would be too much to ask, wouldn't it?

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