Boris OUT!

Cabin in the woods

An oxymoron. According to BLISS.

“Do you want to watch Cabin in the Woods?”

“What is it?”

“Film. Comedy horror.”

“No thanks. That's one of those...oxymorons. For me, anyway.”

It takes a lot of horror clichés and plays around with them. There's a bit of suspense, a lot of gore, a few jumpy moments, and a whole lot of laughs, mostly provided by the staff of the underground facility. Above ground, the fate of the five having a few days in the cabin, is determined by lab coated, wisecracking, high fiving wage slaves working to appease the imprisoned evil gods, underground.

There's a hilarious moment when the Harbinger, a charmless, tobacco chewing backwoodsman from 'The Hills Have Eyes', mid fire and brimstone rant says “am I on speakerphone?”. There's a running merman gag.

The film, after the first five minutes or so, is gloriously mental.

The Black Dhalia

At almost every page turn, I've been thinking, 'what a good film this would make'. So I Googled it. They've made the film. Box office and critical flop.

Boris OUT

I can forgive loads if it's wrapped up with a sense of humour. But not taking the tabloid headlines about a baby's bitten finger, and going straight for the obvious populist politics of suggesting something must be done about the urban fox 'menace'.

These are our suburbs, buildings and human habitation taking away habitats that we should look to share, not destroy. Why are we insisting on bat boxes in all new build, then talking about culling badgers and now foxes. This sort of thinking has me convinced that we're not able to learn from the devastation caused by upsetting nature, by global financial crashes, convinced that we're a nasty, twisted little species, too full of spite and self-importance to survive, or merit surviving.

So. Boris out!

As for in? How about no-one? Swampy? Swampy for mayor. He'd keep the bikes (though he might look for an alternative sponsor), maintain the scruffyness (without shadow of doubt a good thing) and not talk rubbish about foxes, urban or rural.

All that for that?

Three miles of cones. North and southbound A22 down to one lane. 30 mph speed limit. Long delays. For what?

When I passed yesterday, for the safety of a single bloke in a high viz bomber jacket sat on the central barrier smoking his roll up.