Autistic? Moi?
BLISS is absolutely certain of her
diagnosis, 100%. There may be a grain of truth in Jerome K Jerome's
description of the man reading a medical encyclopedia in the British
Library:
“I walked into that reading-room a
happy, healthy man. I crawled out a decrepit wreck.”
Blokes and medical dictionaries, and
the power of suggestion. There must be a syndrome for it. But,
regardless, try this: for twenty four hours, honestly and candidly
monitor your behaviour and your thoughts. It's a rare individual who
can claim not a scrap, not one single moment, no signs whatsoever of
OCD or autistic behaviour-patterns.
What brought this on? Q-tips. Those
ear-cleaners that look like fluffy barbells for mice. There's a box
in the bathroom. They're pink and blue, and I will only use the blue
ones rather than just grab one at random. This has been going on for
weeks, until this morning, when things came to a head. There it was.
A pink q-tip, half in, half out of the box. Could I overcome the
mental block and do the right thing, just grab it and use it and to
hell with it?
No. I couldn't. I pushed it back in and
took a blue one.
Scoop: Chelsea emails
From: Rafa Benitez [email:
rafab@tickleherbum.co.uk]
To: Roman Abramovich [email:
bossA@bigyachtbigdollar.com]
2013-02-25
15:39
Subject: JT or me
Dear Boss,
I gathered the guys yesterday for a
peptalk. Well, it went down like an Egyptian balloon, particularly
with Fat Frank and Ashley. Then John Terry started and things went
from bad to worse (a bit like this season, heh!).
Anyway, I thought you'd better hear it
from me before you see it in the papers, and either he goes or I go.
Kindest regards,
Rafa
PS: my kitbag's packed and I've ordered
a cab.
Txt msg: number withheld:
Dr R, dn't let the door slam on ur way
out. Pls lv the tracksuit & pkup the brn envelope at reception.
Enjoy yrself at Salt Mine United or Siberia City (yr choice). R.
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