First test

A good first day

Before the media hit fever pitch about running in straight lines, running in circles, and swimming up and down in straight lines, there's a test match going on. England are the top test nation at the moment, and South Africa are the third rated, but it's so close that the winner of this three test series will be top when it finishes.

First day to us, despite losing Straus in the first over for a duck. That must be rotten, personally, though good for the team, sitting there watching just two further wickets fall all day.

There was also a great first day at the open golf, and Bradley Wiggins is wearing the yellow jersey at the Tour de France.

The yellow jersey is for the overall race leader. The white with red dots is king of the mountains. The green jersey is the points leader, with the most points for finishing among the leaders of the daily stages. The white jersey is the top youth (under 25), and the rainbow jersey is the reigning world champion.

With the recent doping history, perhaps there should be the steroid jersey (plain brown wrapper with white discs); the HGH jersey (syringes on a medical green background) and the gimp suit (for masking chemicals).

Oy, outta da way...

I read a book by a journalist who joined a support team for the Tour de France. They were in the car, doing 60 mph down a hill when there was a banging from the rear. They suspected a mechanical fault.

It was a rider who'd had a puncture and was trying to catch up with the pack. He was annoyed as the car was slowing him down.

You finished with that?

The other part of the book I remember is the riders shared on table, the support guys another, adjacent table. The riders ate quickly, then reached over and with impunity helped themselves to whatever they wanted from the support guys' plates.

Fatty Gatting

Beaten by the Shane Warne wonder delivery and feeling pretty awful, all he needed was the “if that'd been a cheese roll it wouldn't've got past you”. I imagine Mike Gatting ate like a cyclist just without burning off all those calories.