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George Obsorne redefines 'disappointing'

Our economic performance, up there with the bankrupt Portugal and Greece, is, according to the chancellor, 'disappointing'. I don't find my pension disappearing, I don't find the prospect of a miserable and skint old age 'disappointing'. Maybe austerity until 2017 or until the currency and our homes become worthless (whichever comes sooner) is 'disappointing', when you are among the very wealthy and unaffected.

Disappointing isn't the word it would use. Not strong enough, George. Are you stupid, are you deliberately being stupid, or is your vocabulary severely limited?

Can I suggest a new term, the Osborneism. Examples are:

WW II: bit of a tiff.

The Black Knight in The Holy Grail.

Intense agony: mild discomfort.

Phil Collins: not awfully good.

Hell: warm.

Pol Pot: on the cruel side.

Booker long list announced

The panel have taken the view that they want novels, not writers, and books that will stand a second and further readings. The bloke on the radio said “we want people to pack these books for their holidays, but after they've read them on the beach we want them to bring them home to read again”.

I did that with 100 Years of Solitude. It was embarrassingly tattered though. The copy of I Robot one of the guys brought was left behind. The robot on the cover had a big hairy willy biroed on before we were off the plane.

What's in a flag? Or a name or a country, for that matter?

The North Korean women's football team had South Korean flags against each of their names on the stadium big screen. They took umbrage and only emerged from the changing room an hour after the kick off was due. If security arrangements were going to form, at least that allowed everyone to get to their seats in time for the start of the game.

The Chief Executive of the Organising Committee, wasn't there. Neither was he at the other game. Rather than attend a sporting event, he was at the opening ceremony dress rehearsal. Speaks volumes about priorities. Two minutes after the closing ceremony, the playing field sell-off will be back in full swing. Even as the politicians go on about their vanity project velodrome, the facts are that the Herne Hill velodrome, where Bradley Wiggins trained (he won the Tour de France, you know) has been under threat of closure for years. A bit like the libraries. It's only still there because of a group of fundraisers, enthusiasts and agitators have kept it going. He called people attending the ceremony rehearsal the 'audience' Sporting events attract crowds. Andrew Lloyd Webber musicals attract audiences. Apparently the mistake as a one-off human error and would not be repeated.

At least not for almost a day. Today a Wales player in the Team GB squad was English, Georgian wrestlers were Russian, who knows what else is going on in the name of human error? In his interview he said the flag thing was “very simply human error, and we have apologised”, then went on to say that “we spent hours explaining the events and circumstances to the North Koreans”. How long does it take to explain and apologise for 'simple human error'?