TV awards for Euro 2012 coverage

Some TV awards

For the Euro 2012 coverage. Worst titles: ITV. Looks like they wanted the Wallace and Grommet bloke (Nick Park is it?) and a primary school's remedial art class instead. Great cost saving, worst titles ever.

The most irritating commentator has to be Jonathan Pearce. How Keown hasn't punched his lights out by now is a mystery. He'd be nicknamed 'Thrush' in any changing room.

The awards for most jug-eared Tottenham tosspot, the most kerb-crawling Tottenham tosspot, most dour Jock Scouser, and banal, Mary Poppins was a great call state the obvious Geordie are obvious.

ITV also have weird studio furniture. Are Roy Keane, Jamie Carragher and Patrick Viera on the set of a new Friends type series? What the Brummie bloke doing?

Best advert: Chris Kamara in the gym (you have to love that man) copping the ball in the head before the shouty Italian dude comes in. Shouting the odds (heh). Worst advert: that Ray Winstone 'you're the daddy' crap. “If I woz, I'd go fer cards an corners”. Would you. Would you really?

No barking

Poor Rich felt he'd become invisible, as he didn't get the usual barking at from White Dog. Don't worry mate. She was down the woods and promises to give you an extra-special barking at next time.

No parking (ticket)

Every visit to one seafront site, I pay at the machine, display the ticket, shut the car door and watch the ticket flip over. That's a fine in Brighton. So starts the whole Bazil Fawlty slapstick routine, trying to get the ticket the right way up while slamming the car door, all without the ticket turning over. Last time a warden walked by while I was parking I told her about the problem. Not a lot of comfort in the reply: “oh yes, we get a lot of fines along here that way”.