In the blink of an eye...
...there she was. Gone.
Just looked at the photos of BLISS's
hammock stunt. The camera was on the sports setting. The one where
the shutter machine-guns shot after shot. There are five photos in
total. Not much happens in the first three. BLISS starts getting in
the hammock. That's photo one. In photo two she's maybe, at most,
moved 50 mm (that's two inches in old money). In photo three, she's
moved another two inches, max.
In photo four there's just a glimpse of
her feet and a blur of hammock. This means that in the time it takes
to move two inches, she's been flipped through 180 degrees and thrown
back-first onto the floor. Photo five is of a very blurry BLISS. The
unkind suggestion has been made that the blurring is down to the
camera man's laughter. I was just rushing to help. Honest. No, really
I was. Not laughing. Not a bit.
Ulysses
One of the greatest ever novels, if not the
greatest ever novel, dramatised on radio four, and available on
those podcast things to listen to as and when you get a chance.
Although there's some sort of sell-by date on the downloads. The
novel takes place in one day, June 16th, so that's when it
was broadcast. In Dublin. I've listened to the first two of the seven
parts it was broadcast in. Episode 1 is set in the Martello tower,
and follows Stephen Dedalus to the school he teaches at. Episode 2
starts at the Blooms, 'Poldy taking Molly her breakfast before
slipping out for a pig's kidney for his breakfast. They've done a
great job. Let's face it, the book is so chock full of magnificent
language and poetry that the dramaticist's only problem can be what
to chop out.
Cashpoint rage
Frank Turner tweeted:
Pet hate: people who take forever using
a cash point. Surely you do this pretty often, right?
Not
just cashpoints Frank, but I've found myself frustrated behind
someone who seems to check their balance several times over and
perform some other functions of an ATM I've never explored before
setting of to spend their tenner. I've found that I dislike people
who mess about unnecessarily, in general, and I'm getting worse about
it. Here's some of my pet hates:
- An irrational one to start with. People who drive to the wood then go through a long getting changed routine before walking their dogs. Clogging up the car park while they bugger about. Muddy boots off. Clean shoes on. Change jacket. Wipe dogs with towels. Just get out of the car. Walk. Walk back to the car. Get the dogs in. Get in. Drive away. Jesus. What is the matter with these people.
- The bank. The some of the people behind the counter in my bank have been on one of those chip into brain implant training courses and are under orders to cross-sell services. Fine, when there's no queue. After waiting an age, I don't want to wait any longer while the woman in front is quizzed about her mortgage / insurance / ISA arrangements.
- The tip. Rubbish disposal. The clue's in the name. I want to pull up and throw away. Not only is the tip now patrolled by the local authority gestapo monitoring my every move in their meddlesome way, people seem to be buying into the whole thing and appear only too happy to waste hours buggering about wallowing in piles of rotting filth and fiddling around sorting green glass from brown before it all goes off. In the same lorry.
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