Celcius 7/7

An office in Westminster. Secretary of state for education,
Michael Gove, is briefing some of his staff, PAUL [a hippy
type with long hair and scruffy clothes], TREVOR [a suit],
and JANE [a bespectacled Doris Luke lookalike].

                      GOVE
          Right. I'm going to change the,
          the, er...I'm going to change the
          stuff the little buggers read.

                      PAUL
          Heavy. Do you really think...

                      GOVE
          Yes, Paul. I really do think it's
          time for a change.

                      TREVOR
          But boss...

                      GOVE
          But me no buts, Trevor, my mind's
          made up on this one.

                      JANE
          Trevor's got a point. The kids like
          the current list. The teachers like
          the current list. Why...

                      GOVE
          Why? Why? Because I can. Because
          I'm me, and because...because I
          can.

                      PAUL
          You can eat your own faeces, don't
          make it a good idea.

                      GOVE
          'Of Mice And Men'. That's got to
          go.

                      PAUL
          Steinbeck.

                      GOVE
          What he got to do with anything.

                      JANE
          John Steinbeck...

                      GOVE
          Like I said what's he got to do
          with it? He makes the pianos
          doesn't he?

                      TREVOR
          Steinbeck. He wrote Of mice And
          Men.

                      GOVE
          Yeah. Well. We all know why that
          one's so popular, don't we?

                      PAUL
          No. Why?

                      GOVE
          Because, you kaftan-wearing,
          dope-smoking, retard, it's about
          five pages long. It's not a book,
          it's a pamphlet.

                      JANE
          But it's a classic.

                      GOVE
          Cross it off the list. Replace it
          with a nice Jeffery Archer.

                      PAUL
          Jesus George Lennie Christ...

                      GOVE
          See. It makes people take the
          lord's name...

                      TREVOR
          Boss, anyone but Archer.

                      GOVE
          And that other one. The Gregory
          Peck one...

                      PAUL
          To Kill a Mockingbird.

                      GOVE
          That's the one.

                      JANE
          But that's the single most
          feel-good...

                      GOVE
          Get rid of it. Left wing nonsense.
          We'll have an Edwina Curry instead.

                      TREVOR
                (spitting out a slurp of
                 tea)
          That's it. I'm out of here.

                      PAUL
          Me too.

                      JANE
          Wait for me, guys...

They exit the office. Gove watches them go then walks to the
pile of books on his desk. He picks one up looks lovingly at
the cover.

                      GOVE
          Celcius 7/7, you beauty. Welcome to
          the curriculum.