January Neighbours (UK)

Neighbours (UK)

David Cameron is outside his house in Chipping Norton, in his dressing gown.

CAMERON: [Humming] Just and ordinary Joe, that's me...

WAYNE: Oy! Cammo! What're you doing up at ungodly, bruv? Matters of state keepin' you up?

CAMERON: [Surprised] No. No. Er, bit of a domestic emergency, actually.

WAYNE: D'ya want me to 'ave a look fer ya? I'm pretty good with a screwdriver...

CAMERON: No, no thanks, old chap. [Laughs] I don't think this is something for the likes of...

WAYNE: Give us a chance, Dave, you might be surprised at what I can do.

CAMERON: [Laughter subsiding to a wry smile] I rather doubt it. This is a technical matter. I've called in the specialists. I'm just waiting for them now.

WAYNE: Well, if you're sure.

CAMERON: I am sure, I'm afraid, this requires the highest levels of specialised skills...

WAYNE: Is this them now?

A van arrives, signwritten in the logo of the national grid engineering company. It crunches on the gravel of the drive, and comes to a halt. Kev and Pete jump out, in their overalls, clutching toolbags.

CAMERON: Right. Well. If you'll excuse me, I'd better brief these gentlemen on what's going on.

WAYNE: Hey guys.

KEV & PETE: Alright?

WAYNE: Yes. Good, how're you doin'?

KEV: Yeah, good thanks.

CAMERON: Shall we?

Kev and Pete go in. Two minutes later, they're leaving.

Inside the Camerons:

CAMERON: Well, as usual my decisive action in mobilising the specialists has resulted in...

SAMANTHA: Is the light working now?

CAMERON: Yes. I was getting to that.

Outside Wayne's, Wayne, Kev and Pete hold steaming mugs of tea.

WAYNE: A fuse?

KEV: Nah. Not even a fuse. A breaker'd tripped out.

WAYNE: Nah.

PETE: Yeah, honest, a circuit breaker. That bloke's runnin' the country.