A low-profile injury

Not the most high-profile injury ever

DLL: What've you done to your hand?

ME: [looking at the cut on the back of my hand] I'm not sure exactly. But I did a bit of juggling with the tape, camera, notepad and pencil. I think it was the propelling pencil that did the damage.

DLL: Oh.

ME: Yeah. Probably among the least-glamourous injuries ever in the history of un-glamourous injuries.

You end up letting your kids down, don't you? Why didn't I say “there was this bear escaped from the zoo...” or “as I was fighting the muggers for the old lady's handbag...” or “it was either rescuing that family from their burning house or climbing that warehouse roof after that little cat or...”

Or, actually, pretty much anything other than “I did it on my propelling pencil”.

I don't suppose many A&E's are ever overrun with propelling pencil related injuries. Not unless James Bond's on the rampage and the only weaponry open is Rymans. Mind you, I don't think there were any safety instructions [Don't stick the pencil in your eye as this may impair your vision and result in partial blindness] so I may have a claim against Uni.

There's a fountain in Braintree

It's absolutely fantastic. Don't have a clue what it's all about.

The Dartford Crossing and human rights

BLISS should start her own blog. I may start a collection of BLISS-isms, or get one of the kids to do a “S**t My Dad Says”-type job on her.

BLISS' B*ll*cks, they could call it.

Anyway, all I said was that from December 2014, the Dartford Crossing is going to be pre-pay only, with mobile phone, smartphone and online payment options.

“They can't do that” she said. I could tell she was revving up a bit. “That assumes everyone's got a mobile phone or a connected computer” metaphorically, she was rolling up her sleeves and the gloves were coming off “how can they do that?”

So. Dartford Crossing. Welcome to the BLISS hitlist. Rather you than me.