Roadname rage

If Barrett Homes...

...Persimmon, Charles Church, or any of our big home building developers had a shred of a sense of humour, then, alongside the endless poet's estates (how many Wordsworth Avenues are there?), and other dippy themes, there would be...

...the Tourette's Executive Homes Development.

Can you imagine the joy, fun and laughter?

PLOD: Name?

SUSPECT: John Smith.

PLOD: Address?

SUSPECT: F**ko*f...

PLOD: Excuse me, sir?

SUSPECT: F**ko*f...

PLOD: [Starting to reach for the handcuffs] I thought that was what you said...

SUSPECT: F**ko*f Avenue, on the new estate.

PLOD: Not another one.

Or the driver says “we're in S**t Street...” and the passenger says “you're not joking, we're lost, we're nearly out of petrol and we're already half an hour late...” and the driver says “no, I know where we are, we're in S**t Street, near the junction with Bum Broadway and Cock Close”. The passenger then says “B*****ks...” and the driver says “no, it's true, honestly...” and the passenger says, “no, on the left there, we've just passed B*****ks Road.”

Big thanks to BLISS for some inspiration there.

You might even get the local council caving in to some Mary Whitehouse pressure and toning everything down. Darnit Close, Crumbs Crescent, Wally Walk, and the like. Then you'd get the hardliners, the hardcore estate dwellers out with the spray cans, erasing the soft alternatives and reinstating G*dd**n Close, W***ers Walk, and Tw*t Terrace to their original names.

I have to admit to being somewhat puzzled...

...by this passage of time thing.

I can get a grip on the hour by hour thing, I get to where I need to be and am very seldom late for appointments. Even day to day, I seem able to understand. But how did it get to be November already? We've only just stumbled over Auld Lang Syne (“Should old acquaintance be forgot, for the sake of auld lang syne, mumble mumble be forgot, blah, blah, er, something”) and now 'taches are sprouting out all over.

It's getting increasingly quicker, too.