Neighbours (UK) February

Neighbours (UK) February

David Cameron is laying on his bed, looking at a tablet computer. Samantha Cameron is at the bedroom window, pulling back the curtains and looking out.

CAMERON: Oh no. It's all kicking off in the Ukraine and Crimea. More opportunities to look inept and ineffective on the world stage.

SAMANTHA: It's all kicking off next door, too.

She opens the window.

SAMANTHA: Oy! Wayne-oh. Oy! Up here!

CAMERON: Oy? Wyne-oh?

WAYNE: Hey! Samster...

CAMERON: Samster? What in the name of everything...

WAYNE: ...how're ya doin'?

SAMANTHA: Good mate, you?

CAMERON: Mate? Samantha, have you been hanging around with those neighbours?

WAYNE: Yeah, good. What'cha fink? Cool or what?

SAMANTHA: It's fantastic...what's it all for?

Cameron joins Samantha at the window. Wayne's garden is a mass of tents, teepees, and similar temporary shelters. Kids or all ages are running around all over the place. Just as Cameron arrives at the window, a sound system starts to play Exodus by The Wailers.

CAMERON: Do you know what time it is?

SAMANTHA: Relax. It's after eight. The morning tractors and horseboxes will start moving soon in any case...

CAMERON: That's not the point, is it...

WAYNE: Hey! Cammo.

CAMERON: Cammo?

WAYNE: Oy! Dave! I fort you was pumping out Somerset. [Sings] “Oi am arr zider drinker, oi drinks it all-ah de day...”

SAMANTHA: Camp out, is it?

WAYNE: Yeah. Comin' down for a bacon sarnie and some tea?

SAMANTHA: You bet. Builders.

CAMERON: You bet? Builders? What's going on?

SAMANTHA: Just popping next door for a bit. You do your Ukraine stuff love. Shall I fetch you back a bacon buttie?

CAMERON: Buttie? Er, no. No thanks.