Shopping lists are single-sided

Half the shopping...

...is it better than none? BLISS was volunteering at the wildlife hospital. Cricket's tomorrow. So I was to walk the dogs and get the shopping. Now, everyone, all sensible, right-minded folk know that shopping lists are written on one side of the paper only. Everyone but BLISS, that is.

“Where's the rest of it?” she said.

“This is all of it” I said, “everything on the list.”

We had one of those meaningful discussion things. Apparently it was my fault.

“Where's the list?” she said.

“I threw it away.”

“You're joking.”

“Why would I keep a finished-with shopping list? Of course I threw it away. And don't ever make me go to Sainsburys on a Saturday again.” I wasn't joking about that. It was like waking up in the Thriller video, or in an episode of The Walking Dead. I appreciate not everyone's spatial awareness is 100% spot on, so here's a joke summing up the situation:

How many grannies does it take to cheese me off in a supermarket?

One.

Wenger out

The law regarding ownership of land is unlike others. A car, a washing machine, a television, they have lifespans. You buy, you own, you dispose, you may or may not buy another. You truly own those things. Land outlasts you.

The unpopular and misunderstood “squatters' rights” are actually there to stop people buying up then walking away from, and leaving sterilised, large chunks of land. A reasonable and sensible idea, I think. You don't ever own land the way you would a mobile phone. You're more a steward than an owner.

More football club 'owners' need to understand they're stewards looking after the club for a short while. Generally, they will come and go while the clubs and their fans will endure.

So, Arsene, you need to realise that Arsenal isn't some experiment or project that you can indulge in, seeing what you can do on the pitch while accumulating stockpiles of money. Clubs don't win things on a point per pound spent basis. The points tally is an absolute measure. Also, by playing this very-long-term game the board and the manager are cheating the current season ticket holders of the success the money they're pouring into the club might help secure.

We knew at the end of last season that we need to jettison deadwood and buy in a number of good players. We know what positions need reinforcement. All summer. The transfer window remains open, but the season has started, injuries and suspensions have started, and a light and lightweight and injury-prone squad is looking just that. Go away Arsene, and take your failed experiment with you.