Weasel
Words
1. “Tough”
Commonly
used in conjunction with “talking”.
Before
letting anyone’s suggestion that someone else is tough, here’s one of those
thought experiments they love:
You’ve blundered into the bad (that’s
not Jacko “BAD”, that’s “Dude, this is, like, serious bad shit we’re in”) side
of town, and compounded matters by walking into the worst possible pub to ask
directions back to civilisation. The place is wild west crossed with freakshow,
and inhabited by locals who, between them, don’t have a single tattoo spelled
correctly. Many of them on their faces.
There you
are, a rough night in the Masturbating Monkey. Who do you want by your side?
Is it:
Tough
talking politician Ann Widdecombe?
Tough
talking politician Farage?
Ricky ‘Hitman’
Hatton?
A couple of
pitbull terriers?
Here’s my
answers:
1) Ricky Hatton. He’s more likely than
the others to talk our way out of there in any case, and if it kicks off the
ex-merchant banker or the old biddy ‘aint gonna be much cop, are they?
2) The dogs. Talk has jack to do with
toughness.
3) We’re stuffed, call us an ambulance,
prep A&E. For me. Don’t bother with the other one.
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