Thursday, 17 April 2014

An offensive number plate

Lady, you can have whatever you want, just don't be wantin' 8THEIST

New Jersey. A woman wanted the licence plate 8THEIST. The software rejected that. She tried BAPT1ST, and that was fine. The motor vehicle people gave the reason for refusal as being that 8THEIST (and also ATHE1ST) would be offensive and objectionable.

Better news is that the pope has said it's alright for me to carry on not believing, as long as I have a clear conscience.

Thanks dude!

I might respond, and reciprocate, because I think it's alright for him to be pope, if he wants, as long as he doesn't do that altar-boy rape thing they're a bit too fond of. In church circles. Maybe if he relaxes the condom versus the spread of AIDS in Africa thing, too. Perhaps he should hand back all that gold, silver and money they've accumulated over the years. Oh, yeah, and stop it with the bollocks: walking on water, virgin birth, biscuits and wine transubstantiating into the blood and flesh of christ, resurrection, eternal life after death, all that rubbish.

Also, I find it incredibly objectionable and offensive to have a so-called prime minister who believes in all that irrational buffoonery. So, yeah, if I'm kindly allowed to not believe in stuff that doesn't exist...but...then go ahead and do your thing...but...no fundamentalism, either, and definitely no witch drowning, inquisition torture, and no blowing things up or driving planes into things.

Right then, lets get all Henry Root (Google it – the Henry Root letters):

Dear Pope,

Thank you for your kind permission to not believe in the unsubstantiated, irrational, unbelievable stuff you hard-sell to the terminally gullible. That's really nice of you and I intend to take you up on the offer, cheers.

Yours,

Istvan

PS You need a wardrobe manager mate. That's a dress they're making you wear, and, yes, it's a very silly hat.

PPS That T*ttenh*m Hotspur song? Genius. Did you come up with that all by yourself?

PPPS Don't worry about changing the hat costing you a place in the “do bears crap in the woods” list. I heard one last night that's a perfect replacement for “do you want a cup of tea?” “does the pope wear a silly hat?”. It was “fancy a bacon buttie?” “does the pope have a balcony?”. Maybe not quite as funny, but it would get you out of the ridiculous headgear without much loss of face.

PPPPS Me, I'd bin the bejewelled slippers, and the curly stick. What's that all about. Does your tailor know what century it is?


Just in case...

...here's a link:


Second up is the touching ballad about Spuds and his holiness, and there's the one about winning the league at theirs in there too.


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