Sunday, 28 September 2014

9. Lazyitis - Happy Mondays


9. Lazyitis – Happy Mondays

I’ve gone for The One Armed Boxer Remix, the one on the 1999 Greatest Hits compilation with the garish-coloured cover. The video’s here:


The one with the rain pouring on the barbed-wire surrounded five-a-side court, with Shaun Ryder rubbing his hands together for warmth, and with Karl Denver, who looks more comfortable in the weather condition, but who caught pneumonia filming the video.

The song comes at you, and washes over you, in waves. Thick lush waves. It isn’t typical Mondays, really, other than it revels in its own imperfections, eccentricities, and off-beatisms. In the summer, when I’ve been unable to escape those lawn mowing and hedge-trimming jobs, the headphones protecting me from the engine noise I hate are very likely to be playing this. Loud enough to drown everything out.

BLISS and DLL know what’s going on, but I’m sure the neighbours wonder what the occasional “k-k-k-k-khall da kops”…”you’re twistin’ my melon man”…”that one go it alone, and that one go wah wah wah, all the way home” are all about, when the petrol runs out or the ladders need moving.

If you dislike, or at least have a suspicion about manufactured, plastic bands (and I do), whether or not you like Happy Mondays, they’re of a totally different world. Like the best reality stories, you couldn’t make it up. I’ve been listening to the Greatest Hits album while writing this, and it’s so ingrained in my ear muscle memory stuff, that I’ve had bit of a mini-crisis because I’d unwittingly hit the @shuffle’ button and the songs weren’t coming at me in the expected (right and proper) order.

There’s so many great Mondays moments:





The intros are unmistakeable, unless you were in a coma for a number of years.

It’s strange to think that the nearest thing to sensible, cogent politics no longer comes from three parties all busy copying as much of UKIP’s racist spite as they dare, but from Bez, dancer and part-time maracas shaker. There’s a clip on one video where their American tour-bus driver describes the state the boys were in when they got on board that morning, and they were legendary in that respect. They also drove music forwards, burning bridges behind them and destroying barriers, and pigeonholes along their relentless way. How no football runs out to a Mondays song is beyond me.

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