Wednesday, 16 May 2012

What's left guys?


Bigger better big stick

Coming soon: bad food and drink tax. Apparently. There's a big, big stick lobby that wants to tax what's bad for us. Cod 'n' chips tax, kebab tax. That sort of thing. Will there be a sliding scale? Organic cos lettuce tax < non-organic iceberg < mixed non-organic leaves with dressing? What about those things with the sachets that make them go from very good (health-wise (very bad taste-wise)) to very bad (health-wise (very good, taste-wise)) in an instant? Could we save up unused sachets of monosodium glutimate and gloop of various varieties and return them to HMRC for a rebate? What about those little blue bags of salt in plain crisps (I never use those). What about stuff that's good in small doses (we're told) like red wine and coffee; but bad in larger ones? Will there be rationing cards and an increasing tax curve?

Really guys, time to butt out. You've sold off the sports pitches, you've killed pubs. Now you're going for the cafe and the full English breakfast. Please. Leave us alone.


King Kenny becomes 'king Kenny

Oh my god, they've sacked Kenny. Carling Cup good. FA Cup finalists good. Lose bad. League bad. Get new manager.

Divs. Can I make a suggestion? Villa want a new bloke, quick. You lot want someone asap. No matter what you lot do, it won't make any difference in the short-, medium- or long term. So do a straight swap. Dag to Villa, scrotum-face to Liverpool. Job done, sorted. Whatever else Villa and Pool do, it'll not be significantly different. Bold prediction time: next season, no matter what, 'pool will slip further and Villa will finish bottom half.


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