Thursday, 24 May 2012

Seagull poo and paintwork


Seagull survivors

Inevitable, really. During a long day visiting multiple sites in Kent seaside towns the car got peppered with seagull poo. Luckily most hit the rear window. This has two big advantages (neither as big as not being peppered by the gulls, but still): first, there's no rush to clean it off and preserve the paintwork; and second it will clean off eventually with the washers and wipers, so does not require any direct input from me.

When Noah handed out the invitations for the ark, I doubt whether the seagulls ticked the 'special dietary needs' box. If what comes out the other end strips paint, you can't be too fussy about what goes in at the beak. Their digestive systems must be a feat of engineering. They feed at the landfill or even less salubrious outlets (like the bins at McDonald's), extract sufficient nutrition to survive, and even to fly, then pass Nitromors. That's so robust. After all that evolution, humans need milk of magnesia and inflatable cushions after a Friday night vindaloo, while gulls eat rotting waste and dump paintstripper.

After the nuclear Armageddon, they'll be among the survivors along with the cockroaches. And Joan Collins.

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